


Sanctuary

by winter_writer15



Category: MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Domestic Violence, Eventual Fluff, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, domestic abuse, im aiming for a happy ending, im sorry for this, trigger warning, updates every few days, visions a real bad guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-06-12 05:00:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 37,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15332340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winter_writer15/pseuds/winter_writer15
Summary: Wanda Maximoff is trapped, she's in a failed marriage and is desperate for an escape.She seems to have given up when a certain redhead is introduced to her and in the end,the other woman might actually end up saving her life.





	1. DISCLAIMER

Okay so before this fic begins i just want to say a few things,

-This is a dark fic, there will be descriptions of domestic violence, depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. 

-Because of this i have to say: if you struggle with any of these issues, please reconsider reading this fanfiction because the last thing I want to do is trigger anybody.

-If you are a victim of or know a victim of domestic abuse, the phone numbers you can contact are:

US: 1-800-799-7233

UK: 0808 2000 247 

I am not 100% if these numbers are correct so please double check before you call, and always call when you know you are safe enough to do so.

\- I did a lot of research into domestic abuse for this fic, however i am far from an expert so please remember that if i write something that isn't completely accurate.

-Any description of depression/anxiety/mental health problems are based off my own experiences.

-I am in no way bashing on ScarletVision, i actually ship them a lot, but the make this fic work i had to make Vision a really bad guy sorry :(

-Vision is called Vis because it is "human" Vision and no parent in their right mind calls their kid Vision

 

Thank you for reading, I love you all immensely.

~B

xxxxx 


	2. foreword

If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I will keep myself  
I would find a way

_-Johnny Cash, Hurt._


	3. love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would say enjoy but tbh there isn't much to enjoy in this chapter so...

Love defined by the Oxford English Dictionary is described as: An intense feeling of deep affection.

Despite this rather simple explanation, love is far more complicated than just “affection”. Love is kindness and infatuation, love is hatred and anger and frustration, love is jealousy and admiration and pride and sorrow.

Love is more than just “affection.”

To properly love somebody, you must have a balance of all the emotions that make up love. This includes the hatred, the jealousy and the sorrow because they are all vital. You cannot have too much of one emotion or the love becomes toxic.

For example, too much hatred and you end up despising the person you’re supposed to love, too much kindness and the relationship becomes dishonest, too much jealousy and you can no longer trust your partner.

Very few couples find the balance, those who do are the closest things humans can get to their “soulmates”, and like the fools we are, we think we’ve found our soulmates the minute we enter a new relationship, only to discover that we were wrong.

Wanda Maximoff thought she had found her soulmate in Vis. They had met in their first year of college and had gotten together within just a month of knowing each other, moved in together within six months, married after a year – a whirlwind romance by anyone’s standards.

They had decided not to have children, and by that, I mean Vis had decided they weren’t having children. Wanda was desperate for a child, she begged and pleaded with Vis to change his mind but he was not to be argued with – she learned that quickly enough.

It seemed as though Vis changed after they were married, he wasn’t the same charming, caring man she had fallen in love with, he had become a cold, emotionless robot who only appeared to pay attention to Wanda when she was doing something he didn’t agree with or that he had said “no” to.

Then again, many men like Vis seem perfect at first.

They were a young couple, both only 25 years old, but to out-lookers they seemed so much more mature than other people their age. They seemed to genuinely care about each other, to love each other, from the outside they looked like soulmates.

But out-lookers were only seeing the front, the image the couple created to evade suspicion.

It had started with little things, Wanda would be “put off” wearing certain clothes or seeing certain people. Looking back, she realised that it had been going since they met, it had only become apparent when…well when he first put his hands on her.

She remembered it was a Wednesday night, she knew because she had just come home from art class and had to run back to their apartment in the rain, holding her canvas above her head to try and keep dry. She planned to ask him that night, to ask him a question that could make or break their relationship. Pulling off her boots and putting down the soaked canvas, she saw him sitting in his armchair reading.

“I’m back.” She had said, squeezing her hair to get rid of the wet.

“You’re late.” Was all he said, turning a page in his book.

“Well I tried to wait for a bus but they were all cancelled so I had to run home.” She was still out of breath.

He didn’t answer so she walked over and pecked his cheek, whispering an “I love you” and going to make tea before she felt a hand grab hers and she turned again.

“Wanda, what do you want?”

“How did you know I wanted something?” she grinned.

“I just know these things.” He said, putting down his book on the coffee table.

“Okay then, I know that you said no before but…”

“Spit it out Wanda I haven’t got all day.” He joked, smiling at her in a way that he knew made her feel at ease as she sat on the foot-rest across from him.

“Well, I know you said definitely not before but…Vis I want a baby.” She beamed, sure that he would scoop her up in his arms and tell her how he changed his mind.

That didn’t happen.

“Wanda. I told you. It’s not happening.” He withdrew his hand from hers and walked over the kitchen counter.

“Well why not, you’d be an amazing father! And don’t you want a little kid running around-“ She followed him over.

“I said no!” he shouted, banging his fist on the counter-top.

“I just don’t understand why, if you gave me a reason then-“

She didn’t get to finish her sentence; his open palm had already made contact with her cheek.

Their relationship hadn’t been the same since.

-

She wasn’t allowed many friends, let alone male friends, but no matter how hard Vis tried he couldn’t keep her three best friends away from her. She had known Bucky Barnes since they were children, they met when he threw sand in the eyes of a girl who was making fun of Wanda’s sandcastle and had been inseparable ever since, he had even been her “Man of Honour” at her wedding. Peter Parker was her roommate before she moved in with Vis and had went to art classes with Wanda every Wednesday for years until Vis made her stop going. Tony Stark was actually one of Vis’ friends first, he was the only one to actually know about the nature of her relationship and had promptly changed sides, trying to protect her in any way he could by frequently coming to dinner or taking her on as an “apprentice” so that she could have a few hours away from Vis every week.

Wanda Maximoff was very grateful for her friends.

-

Why didn’t she leave him? Because she still loved him. Because she still felt like he loved her too, that he had the balance of emotions that made him her soulmate. She didn’t leave him because after he hit her he’d buy her flowers to apologise and would tell her he wouldn’t do it again and she believed him. She didn’t leave him because of the moments when he would make her laugh so hard she could barely breathe and because of the way he’d kiss her cheek when he told her she was his everything. She didn’t leave Vis because she tried desperately to make the good moments outweigh the bad moments and truly believed he would change for her and go back to being the man she fell for seven years ago.

She didn’t leave him because every time the thought crossed her mind, the image of them dancing on their wedding day clouded her judgement and the sound of Your Song by Elton John flooded her memory and she hated herself for even thinking such horrible things.

But their wedding day was seven years ago, she was 25 now and was no longer the impressionable young girl she was when she met Vis at a frat party. Every day the urge to leave grew and grew and even though Wanda knew in her heart she never would, the idea of hopping on a plane with a bag of her things was one of the only things that could bring her solace as she held an ice pack to her bruised eye on her bathroom floor every week.

-

Love is complicated, love is painful and can almost kill you.

Despite all these negative parts of love, it can be found I you’re with the right person.

And Wanda Maximoff wasn’t with the right person.

Yet.

 


	4. wasted time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so, I've decided to name every chapter after a song as a way to actually have names for my chapters rather than just 1 2 3 4 ect.  
> just a btw ^

“Wanda, you’re up early.” Vis yawned as he came up behind her at the kitchen counter, resting his head on her shoulder and quickly kissing her neck.

“Well, I thought I’d make you breakfast to make up for last night.” She smiled, sliding a plate across the kitchen island to the stools where Vis went to sit.

“Yes well, it’s all in the past now, I accept your apology.” He smiled back at her before tucking into the pancakes Wanda had made from scratch.

“I’m still sorry, it was stupid of me to drop that plate like that.” She turned, a bruise peaking through her shirt as she attempted to sit herself on the stool next to her husband, wincing as she felt a twinge of pain in her side.

The couple sat in silence throughout breakfast like they usually did nowadays, Wanda sat picking at her pancake, going over the memories in her head of cosy breakfasts in bed and giggles during morning sex. All things they didn’t do anymore, now breakfasts were a strictly quiet affair, Wanda watching what she ate in case Vis thought she ate too much and yelled at her that she was going to get fat, Vis reading the morning paper as he sipped his coffee completely blocking out the memories of the previous night where he had hit her in some way or another.

-

She stood in front of the full-length mirror, staring at herself in her underwear, her pale skin painted with purple and blue bruises, the most recent on her ribs where he had thrown her against the bedroom wall and preceded to kick her – all for dropping one of the dining plates. Tears came to her eyes as she looked at herself, how did she let herself become this person? How did she let herself become a victim? She used to be so fierce and strong-willed, now she flinched when people raise their hands to give her a handshake.

Pulling her eyes away from her reflection, she turned to her closet. It was so bland now, all dark, dull colours that Vis had chosen to draw attention away from her, all long sleeved jumpers and jeans to cover up her injuries. She used to love wearing colour and showing skin, she used to wear a cropped top every day of the week and she loved short skirts that showed off her legs, she couldn’t even remember the last time she wore a skirt that was shorter than knee-length. She picked out a burgundy off the shoulder jumper and a pair of black jeans, there was no way Vis could object to this. Except maybe her shoulders were too exposed, she didn’t want to look like a slut after all so she changed into an oversized black hoodie that Vis had bought her as a “sorry I broke your ribs” present. There, all black, perfect now nobody would pay attention to her.

“I’m going out for coffee.” She said, picking up her bag and throwing her phone in the bottom.

“Who with?” he asked, tying up his shoelaces as he prepared for work.

“Just Bucky, I think Peter might be there too.” She called back, swiping on some lip-gloss in the bathroom mirror.

“What time do you think you’ll be back?”

“Why does it matter? You’ll be at work.” She said, coming out of the bathroom.

“I need to know where you are so I know you’re safe is all.”  He walked over to her and kissed her forehead.

“I think I’ll be back by lunch.” She smiled.

“Four hours for coffee? Seems a bit long.”

“Well I haven’t seen Bucky in a while, I want to catch up with him.”

“I don’t trust him around you, I think he’s playing the long game.” Vis pulled on his coat.

“Bucky’s gay Vis, you don’t need to worry about him…plus I love you not him.” She walked over, pecking his cheek.

“Text me when you get there and when you’re on your way back.”

“Of course.”

“And take off that lip-gloss, you’re going to a coffee shop, not to a strip club.” He said, closing the door behind him.

She sighed before walking through to the bathroom and wiping her lips.

-

As she walked through the coffee shop doors, she immediately saw them sitting in their usual booth in the corner. Bucky, Peter and even Tony had come too, sitting at the table sipping on piping hot drinks, she watched Peter laugh as Bucky said something apparently funny. This was her happy place, this was the only thing that made her feel like life was actually worth living, her heart warmed and suddenly the constant throb in the side didn’t feel as painful.

“Maximoff! You made it on time, it’s a miracle!” Bucky joked as Tony got up to let her sit against the wall across from Barnes, Stark across from Peter.

“Do you want me to get you anything Wanda?” Tony stayed standing, giving her worried “I know your husband’s an asshole” eyes.

“Can you get me a hot chocolate please.” And off he went towards the cashier.

“How’ve you been then? I haven’t seen you in weeks, I thought you’d died or something.” Bucky asked, sipping his own coffee.

“Oh you know, just busy I guess.” She replied, typing a message to Vis to let him know she got there safely.

“Wanda put the phone away, we are literally right here.” Peter joked, sipping his latte.

“Sorry…Sorry! I just had to tell Vis I got here.” She dropped her phone back into her bag.

“Wanda you’ve been married for seven long years, I don’t think he’ll divorce you because you didn’t tell him where you were one time.” Bucky said, slightly kicking his leg against hers under the table.

Tony came back with her hot chocolate and a tea for himself and the group sat there, in their little booth for two whole hours. Wanda tried her hardest not to laugh because it hurt her side but she couldn’t help but cry with laugher when Bucky told her how his roommate had walked in on him and his boyfriend one morning and dropped her morning croissant on his floor.

She wished she could stay in that coffeeshop forever, there in their booth without Vis and without all the violence and the manipulation that came with him


	5. friend, please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm bulk writing this so updates might become a tad more frequent :)

“Wanda Maximoff, I swear to God if you pull your phone out one more time I will smash it against the table.” Bucky had clearly had enough, he went to grab her phone out of her hands only for her to be too quick for him.

“Am I not allowed to text my husband to tell him I’m having a lovely time with my friends?” She grinned, knowing fine well she was giving him the usual fifteen-minute update of her location.

“No, no you’re not because he’s your _husband_ not your overprotective dad! You should be able to enjoy a coffee meet-up without being hounded by messages! Give me that-“Without warning, Barnes grabbed the phone out her hand.

“Bucky c’mon give me back my phone, don’t be a dick.”

“Give her the phone Bucky.” Tony chipped in, giving Wanda a quick look, knowing the implications of her silence.

“Trust me, this’ll be good for you.” He held down the phones on/off button, turning it off completely.

“Okay now give it back.” She begged, her heart racing as she continued to try and keep the conversation light.

“No…no because today we’re going to have fun like the old times, like we used to!” Just like that, he pocketed Wanda’s phone.

_This wasn’t going to end well._

-

Bucky had convinced Wanda to come back to his boyfriend’s apartment so that she could meet him. Tony and Peter left after the coffee shop, as Tony hugged her a goodbye he whispered “you know where I am if you need me.”, being careful not to crush her chest anymore than it already was.

Bucky’s boyfriend only lived ten minutes from the coffee shop, as they walked and chatted, Wanda’s mind was completely elsewhere – completely focused on her phone and the fact she hadn’t messaged Vis in half an hour consumed her completely, she could barely concentrate on Bucky’s story, she didn’t even realise they had reached their destination until she was being pulled into a hug by a tall muscular blond man.

“Wanda! It’s so nice to finally meet you after all the stories Buck’s been telling me.”

“Aha, all good I hope.” She replied, struggling for breath as she came back to reality.

“Well, feel free to tell Steve any embarrassing stories about me if you want.” Bucky laughed, planting a kiss on the blond man’s cheek before going to make drinks.

“So, Buck tell me you’re married, I mean wow that’s just…you’re just younger than I would imagine for a married woman, not that you have to be old to be married of course, oh god.”

“Steve baby you’re spiralling.” Came Bucky’s voice from the kitchen.

“Yes, I’ve been married for seven years this August actually, Bucky gave me away.” She smiled, arms across her chest, fiddling with the fabric of her hoodie.

“Wanda, do you want a beer?” Bucky shouted through.

“No, a water’s fine.” She couldn’t afford to mess up with Vis any more than she already had that day.

“Are you…” Steve gave her the “married woman refusing alcohol wearing baggy clothes” look.

“No! Oh, I’m not pregnant I…we’ve actually decided not to have kids so…” She smiled sadly.

“Oh okay, I didn’t want to assume.” Steve smiled awkwardly back.

They stood in silence for a few moments before Bucky brought through two beers for him and Steve and a glass of water for Wanda. Just as Wanda was going to ask for her phone back, a redhead appeared in the doorframe with a bottle of beer in her own hands.

“Nat! I thought you were working today?” Steve said.

“Yeah I was but I quit so I’m not anymore.” She said casually, sipping her drink.

“You what! You quit your job?” Steve looked as though he was about to have an aneurysm.

“Well I didn’t like working there so I quit its not a big deal.” The girl seemed completely unbothered by the fact she had lost her source of income, it actually caused Wanda second-hand anxiety.

“Nat you can’t just do that I mean-“

“You haven’t introduced me to your friend.” The redhead’s eyes shot straight to Wanda, making her heart jump in her chest in a way that it hadn’t in…well a long time.

“Oh, this is Wanda, Buck’s friend, but that isn’t the point Nat-“

“Hi, I’m Natasha Romanoff but everyone calls me Nat.” She walked over to Wanda, taking her outstretched hand and shaking, the redheads grip was firm but not is a bad way, in a way that calmed Wanda greatly.

“Wanda Maximoff, everyone just calls me Wanda.” She smiled a genuine smile, something nobody had brought out of her for a while.

“Well Wanda Maximoff, how do you know the one and only Bucky Barnes?” She smirked.

“We’ve been friends since kindergarten.”

“Poor you.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad.” Bucky objected.

“Honey, you stay here three days a week and it looks like a bomb exploded every single time you leave.”

Wanda liked this, she liked being with Bucky, she liked his new boyfriend a lot more than his last one but most importantly, she like Nat. She liked the way she smirked when she spoke and how relaxed she seemed about everything, Wanda actually almost forgot about…

“Vis!” She gasped, eyes darting to the clock hanging on the wall – she hadn’t messaged her husband in a whole hour.

“Bucky you have to give me back my phone.” She pleaded, practically begging on her knees.

“Okay, okay calm down Wanda jeezo.” He fished into his pocket and pulled out her phone, she grabbed the phone as fast as she could.

Her phone lit up to show her the 36 missed calls and 53 unread messages she knew she was going to pay for later. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she read the last messaged he had sent:

_come home now._

“Guys I have to go.” She had already put her glass by the sink and was heading to the door before Bucky had grabbed her arm, making her tense.

“What’s up? Something wrong?”

“No, no of course not I just…Vis needs me home so I have to go.”

“Who’s Vis?” Nat asked, sipping her drink.

“Her husband.” Steve explained.

“Darling, don’t let your husband tell you what to do, men are pigs.”

“All of us?” Steve’s mouth twisted into a confused frown.

“Yes, all of you.”

“You don’t understand, if he wants me home I need to go home…he needs me.”

Something changed in Nat’s eyes in that moment, a flicker of something in her past showed in her face, she sat forward.

“Let her go Bucky, it’ll be worse for her if you don’t.” she said, eyes unblinking and fingers gripped to her bottle.


	6. i miss the old u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: violence  
> i swear i dont mean to make all my fics depressing  
> ft dad tony

Have you ever dreaded reaching your destination so much that time seems to stop?

When Wanda Maximoff was 15 years old, her parents died in a shopping center bombing along with 12 other innocents. Their funeral was 7 days later and in the car on the way to the cemetery, Wanda dreaded reaching the graveyard so much time appeared to stand still and she swore it stopped for a moment.

Of course, it didn’t stop, time never stops for anybody.

Two years later, she had the exact same feeling as she walked up the stairway to the apartment she shared with her husband. Every step she climbed lasted a lifetime and she was pretty sure that the stairwell she walked up so frequently had elongated itself especially for her walk of emotional shame.

It wasn’t for another ten minutes until she realised she was staring at her front door.

Placing her hand on the cold metal handle, she took a deep breath before turning up the sides of her lips into one of the fakest smiles she had ever done and pushing the handle down and opening the door.

The apartment was cold and stilted, almost as if nobody lived there at all. Vis was sitting in his armchair, a glass of what looked like whiskey in his left hand, watching the door.

“You’re not at work.” Wanda commented, not acting in any way surprised.

“I told them there was a situation at home, they understood.” He sipped his drink.

“Oh.”

“You haven’t been in contact.”

“Things got out of hand, Bucky stole my phone.” She placed her purse on the kitchen counter.

“That’s a good excuse, you’ve never used that one before.” He muttered, pouring the rest of his drink down his throat before walking to the drinks cabinet to pour himself another.

“How many have you had?”

“None of your business.” He was blunt, he’s had at least three.

Pouring the whiskey, he paused for a moment before drinking the whole glass in one go, cringing at the taste before setting the glass down with a thud so loud Wanda was surprised he didn’t break anything.

“I should be able to go get coffee with my friends without texting you every ten minutes.” She blurted out, stepping towards him in a sudden surge of confidence.

Silence had never been so deafening. She was sure her heart had frozen in her chest as she couldn’t feel it beating anymore. He turned slowly, his face a mixture of shock and contempt as he looked at her.

“I’m a grown woman Vis, I can take care of myself.” Her new-found confidence failing a little as she attempted to stare him down.

“I just feel as though you’re being…a bit dramatic. You’re my husband not my-“

Her thought was interrupted by somebody grabbing her head and slamming it onto the coffee table before letting her drop to the floor.

“I am your husband, I am in control here.” His voice was scarily steady, almost as if he felt no emotion at all as he repeatedly kicked her side as she knelt breathless on the living room floor.

-

She couldn’t move.

She had been lying there longer than she could remember.

She had never been so thankful that she chose carpet instead of hardwood for the living room.

Vis had left, he had taken his coat and left her there in the floor to take of herself like he did every time. Except this time was different, this time she really couldn’t get up.

Slowly edging herself towards the kitchen area, she dragged her broken self along the floor. She could tell she had a few broken ribs, maybe even a concussion if the black dots in the edges of her vision were anything to go on – this wasn’t her first time stuck on the floor.

Finally reaching the kitchen counter, she pulled herself into a sitting position with gritted teeth. Concentrating as hard as she could on the continuous act of breathing in and out, she swung her arm up and grabbed her phone with a slight scream before unlocking it with shaky hands.

Who to call?

Bucky? No, he had no idea what was going on, he’d make her leave him.

Peter? Was on a date with Michelle.

Tony. Always Tony.

Holding the phone to her ear, she attempted to lift her jumper to see the damage but the moment the pain shot through her she decided that wasn’t the best idea and focused on her breathing again.

Tony picked up almost immediately.

“Wanda?”

“Hey Tony, can you come over?”

“I’m already on my way.”

She hung up, tossing the phone to the side, the screen lighting up automatically with an image of her and Vis having their first dance. If only she could go back and tell past Wanda that her Friday nights would consist of nursing broken bones and split lips, she could’ve saved herself so much pain.

Within ten minutes of her calling, there was frantic knocking at her front door.

“It’s unlocked.” Not that she could’ve answered it anyway.

“Oh Jesus…Wanda.” He rushed to kneel next to her, kissing her forehead the fatherly way that always soothed her heart.

“It’s been worse, you know it’s been worse.” She made a feeble attempt at a smile but Tony gave her a disapproving look and she stopped.

“Just because it’s been worse doesn’t mean it’s right.” He muttered, lifting her jumper to look at her injuries.

The entire right side of her torso was covered in deep purple bruising, you could almost see the cracks where the ribs were broken and you could hear the way Wanda’s chest broke and wheezed whenever she took a breath.

“I’m fine, I just need you to help me to bed.” She mumbled before coughing.

Sensing wetness on her lips, she moved a hand to wipe her mouth, only to pull it away covered in scarlet blood.

“You’re not fine, I’m taking you to hospital.” He grabbed her phone and dialled 911.

Wanda couldn’t speak, her heart was pounding in her chest and her eyes were fixed on the dark liquid on her hand. She'd had broken ribs before, she had never coughed up blood before. This was the kind of thing that happens right before somebody dies on a medial drama, _was she going to die?_

“Okay, Wanda the ambulance is on it’s way, they say you just have to stay awake and you’ll be fine.” Tony said, grasping tightly onto the hand that wasn’t covered in blood and moving to sit next to her.

“It’s my fault…I…I didn’t text him.” She mumbled, eyes still wide as she moved her fingers to feel the wetness of the blood.

“Now you know that’s not true, nothing about this is your fault.” He gave her hand a squeeze, knowing this was a speech he had given her a hundred times before and would probably have to give another hundred times before she actually listened.

“Why does he do it Tony? I don’t understand…”

“I don’t know.”

They sat on the floor for a while, Tony nudging Wanda occasionally to check she was still awake and her making a small sound in reply. she thought he might be talking to her to keep her awake but all she could hear was white noise.

Once the paramedics arrived, she remembered being stuffed into an ambulance, an oxygen mask placed over her mouth as Tony clutched onto her hand and continued to tell her boring stories about inventions he was working on before she slipped into unconsciousness.


	7. one day at a time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so i go on holiday for two weeks in five days so I'm bulk writing so i can post loads before i go because I'm not taking my laptop and will be basically dead for 12 days sorry.

Hospital rooms have surprisingly bright lights, they are made even brighter because they reflect off the white walls and floors, when you think about it – this isn’t a good setting to wake up in when you’re suffering a serious head trauma.

“Hey Wanda, you’re in the hospital.”

_Tony…_

“You scared me for a minute sweetheart, thought you were a goner.”

Blinking, Wanda’s eyes opened and instantly shut again because of the brightness, god her heart hurt.

“The doctors had to take you to surgery because you had a touch of internal bleeding, but they fixed it and you should be able to go home in a few days.”

Opening her eyes again, the blurry face of Tony came into view, his signature facial hair was the first thing that clicked in her mind. She opened her mouth to talk, to say what she didn’t know, but her throat was so dry she could barely utter a syllable.

“Oh sorry, have some water.” And like magic a cup of water with a straw sticking out of the top appeared by her lips.

“H…have you called Vis?”

Tony sighed, shook his head before saying:

“No, no I haven’t.”

“You have to call him Tony…he’ll be worried about me.”

“He’s the one that put you in the fucking hospital bed Wanda.”

“He’s my husband, he needs to know.” She grew a little stronger then, able to push herself into a sitting position.

Just then, a doctor came into her room, a rather serious look on her face as she asked Tony to give them a moment of privacy.

“Just tell it to me straight doc, am I dying?” Wanda’s feeble attempt to lighten the mood clearly didn’t impress the stern woman in front of her.

“Wanda, I need to ask you a few questions about how you go these injuries.” The doctors face and voice softened a little.

“Didn’t Tony tell you? I fell cleaning the kitchen, hit my head on the counter, I’m very clumsy he should’ve told you that.” Her tone was very convincing, just not to the doctor.

“Wanda, I have worked as a surgeon at this hospital for over twenty years and I have never seen that amount of damage because somebody fell over.” She sat on the edge of the bed.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” Wanda made an attempt at a grin but the doctors look shot her down.

“I know the signs of domestic abuse, I know the types of injuries victims receive and your broken ribs had damage from previous beatings that still hadn’t healed.”

Wanda opened her mouth to speak, to either confess or deny everything she didn’t know which one, when she saw a man enter her room in the corner of her eye.

“Wanda! Oh my goodness are you alright? I’m sorry I shouldn’t have left you on your own.” Vis rushed in, kissing Wanda’s forehead and pretending to fuss over her like any loving husband would.

“This must be your husband?” The doctor asked/accused, Wanda wasn’t sure what the tone of her voice meant.

“Sir, I’m actually having a private talk with your wife just now, if you can wait outside it’ll only take a few moments.”

“No, no I will not leave her, I’m not letting her leave my sight again.” The tears really were Oscar worthy.

“Sir, with all due respect, your wife is a grown woman and I need to have a conversation with her as her surgeon.”

“With all due respect to you, she is still my wife and I’d like to be alone with her for a while before she’s hounded with pointless questions.”

Sensing this was a battle she wouldn’t win, the doctor left Wanda and Vis alone.

“What did you tell them?” His act dropped almost immediately and he squeezed her hand more aggressively than most husbands would.

“I fell while cleaning the kitchen, hit my head off the counter.”

“Good.”

-

Vis was right when he said that Wanda wasn’t leaving his sight, she remained in hospital for three days before her doctors allowed her to go home. The only person that came to visit her was Tony because he was the only one who knew and Vis trusted him so Wanda was even allowed to talk to him in private.

“You have to tell Bucky at least.” Tony whispered on the second night as Vis slept in the armchair next to Wanda’s bed.

“I can’t Tony, you know I can’t.” She was lying on her side, her back to Vis looking at Tony in the other chair.

“Why? Cause he’d make you leave him? Is that such a wild idea?”

“We’re married, it’s not that simple.” She was exhausted, she was tired of having to defend herself to Tony.

“Wanda, you could’ve died yesterday, he could’ve killed you…and you’re willing to just go back to him without hesitation I mean…why?”

She sighed and turned her head to look at her sleeping husband, her heart breaking as she continued to blindly trust him.

“Because I love him and he loves me, I know he does he just…he just gets angry at me sometimes.”

“If he lays a hand on you again, I’m telling Bucky.”

The ultimatum made Wanda’s breath catch in her throat, she wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was because Tony was willing to break her trust without hesitation, or because she knew he would have to within a week.

-

She was prescribed bed rest and a shit-ton of painkillers for the next week, and strangely that week was one of the best her marriage had lived through in seven years. Vis had reverted back to that awkward boy she met in college who spontaneously bought her flowers and brought her breakfast in bed and would let her pick what movie they watched as the cuddled up in bed, that week felt so good that Wanda almost convinced herself that it was going to be that way forever.

But nothing lasts forever.

Eight days after returning from the hospital, Wanda had achieved amazing things such as: shuffling to the bathroom without help, sitting on the couch instead of in bed and even getting her own water.

It was only when she had managed the undefeatable task of pouring her own cereal that Vis returned to work, leaving her home alone. So she decided to sit on the sofa and read her book in the comfortable silence, and she had just put her feet up when the doorbell rang.

Sighing and pushing herself to her feet, she slowly walked over to the door and looked through the keyhole to see none other than the redhead who shared an apartment with Bucky’s boyfriend.

“Hello?” She said, opening the door with a puzzled frown.

“Hi, I…I brought you some chocolates, I don’t know if you’ll like them but they were half price and I thought-“

“Thank you.” She smiled, taking the box from the other woman.

“I know we don’t actually know each other very much…”

“No, we don’t. sorry I don’t mean to be rude but why are you here? Only I’ve been a bit unwell and-“

“Can I come in?”

Hesitantly, Wanda moved to let the redhead enter – she couldn’t remember her name – and closed the door again, praying she’d leave soon so she could read her book and have a nap.

“Sorry for just turning up like this I just…I know you’re not feeling well.” She said looking around the apartment and perching herself at the edge of the sofa.

“Yes well, life is life.” Wanda painfully lowered herself to the opposite edge of the couch.

“I know why you’re ill, I mean, I know you’re not ‘ill’ per say.” She lifted her fingers into air quotes around the word “ill”.

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say?”

“I know…about your husband.”

Wanda didn’t say anything, careful not to let the passive look on her face fall, she moved slightly in her seat and cleared her throat.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t have to act around me like you do with Bucky, I already know.” She moved her hand forward so her fingers lightly grazed Wanda’s, but Wanda only flinched and withdrew her hand.

“If you’re just going to come into my home to insult my husband i-“

“How long were you in hospital?” She interrupted, her voice unwavering as her green eyes seemed to stare right through Wanda’s lies.

Knowing that arguing was pointless, Wanda blinked away the traces of tears in her eyes and took a breath.

“Did Tony tell you?” She whispered, desperate not to make eye contact.

“Tony? Who the fuck is Tony? No, I noticed from the way you were acting at Steve’s, and then when Bucky told me you weren’t feeling well and didn’t want any company I knew for sure.”

“You’re very observant.” Wanda couldn’t help but smile, her heart may have been breaking but there was something about the woman’s ‘matter of fact-ness’ that made things not seem so bad.

“You’re a very good actress, I almost doubted myself.” The redhead smiled in reply, a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless.

“Well I’ve had seven years of practise.”

“Wanda, I…I know it’s terrifying but…why don’t you leave? I mean you have so many friends who want to help you and if you stay…”

“Have you ever been married?”

“No.”

“I got married when I was 18 years old, I got married when I was 18 and nobody supported it. I don’t have a family, only my brother and he was against it from the beginning, I had to practically beg Bucky to give me away, but still I got married at 18 because I thought I’d found my soulmate. I proved everyone wrong by not getting a divorce within six months and now…now I’m seven years in and if I leave him…”

“You don’t want to prove people right.” The other woman whispered, nodding her head in realisation.

“I don’t want to be the girl who got married too young and made all the wrong choices in life…I don’t want to be a failure.”

“You deserve more than him, to be treated better than this.”

Wanda sighed, _no I don’t._


	8. rebel heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things boutta get a whole lot better i promise ;)

The woman (who Wanda remembered was called Natasha) left soon after, Wanda making the excuse that she was tired and needed to rest. They had exchanged numbers in case she needed a friend, she was grateful for that.

Hours later and she was still on the couch reading, the lamp lighting up the page as the sun set in the window behind her. She heard Vis’ keys in the lock and smiled, maybe their good streak would continue tonight.

“I’m home.”

“I can see.” Wanda smiled as he came over and kissed her before taking off his jacket and shoes.

“Did you have a good day?”

“Yes, I read almost all of my book and watched boring daytime television.”

“A successful day by any standards.” He grinned before moving over to the kitchen, she guessed to make a cup of coffee, coming back holding Natasha’s box of chocolates in his hand, a puzzled look on his face.

“Oh, they’re from Nat.” She said, her eyes only glancing up from the page for a moment.

“Who’s Nat?”

“Bucky’s boyfriends roommate, I met her the day…just before I got sick.” She put the bookmark in and closed the cover – she was done reading for the day apparently.

“I didn’t know you went to Bucky’s boyfriends house?” He put done the chocolates and sat in his armchair across from the sofa.

“Bucky practically forced me, it was nice, Steve’s a nice guy and Nat’s alright.”

“Well I guess you wouldn’t have been able to text me where you were going anyway since Bucky stole your phone.” He sighed in an obvious way that said ‘I still don’t believe your excuse for being a bad wife.’

“You still don’t believe me? Wow.” She muttered under her breath.

“Excuse me.”

_Don’t answer him Wanda, he’s looking for a fight._

“Do you seriously still not believe me? After all this you still think I’m lying to you?” She ignored the voice in her head.

“What do you mean ‘after all this’?” His eyes had gone the flat, emotionless way they often did when they fought.

“You put me in hospital Vis! I had to have major surgery! I could’ve died! Why would I still lie to you?” Something snapped in Wanda and she pushed herself off the couch to face him as he got out of his armchair.

“I didn’t put you in hospital, you put yourself there!”

_Just because it’s been worse doesn’t mean it’s right._

_Nothing about this is your fault_

_You deserve more than him, to be treated better than this._

Suddenly all the things Tony and Nat said to her came rushing into her memory, all the times Tony had begged her to leave him, how Nat went to hold her hand to show she cared, all the times Bucky had told her that if anybody hurt her he’d hunt them down and kill them himself…

Maybe she was loved.

“No. No you put me there Vis. You put me there and you’ve put me there so many times I’ve lost count. I’m tired of hospital beds and lying to doctors, I’m tired of lying to my friends, I’m tired of lying to myself.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying…I’m saying…I’m saying I’m done Vis. I am done lying and covering for you when all you do is beat me and yell at me and hurt me, because I know you’re not going to change…I know you’ll never change and I’ve been lying to myself for too long telling myself that you will.”

“Nobody will believe you.” His voice was dangerously steady and his grip on his mug of coffee was increasing every moment.

“Tony does. Tony’s believed me for years, he saw me on the kitchen floor beaten black and blue, he knows what you’re capable of.” She wasn’t crying, her heart wasn’t breaking, if anything her heart was calm.

“If you leave now, you’ll come crawling back, you know that.”

“Who says I will?”

“Jesus Wanda for fucks sake! Of course you will! You’re weak, you won’t survive a minute out there without me!” Suddenly, his coffee mug hit the living room wall, that was going to stain.

She didn’t jump, she didn’t even flinch. Instead, she grabbed her phone, pulled on her boots and unlocked the door before turning back to her husband, looking at him standing in the middle of the living room, seething with rage.

“You aren’t the man I married.” She said, quickly leaving and closing the door behind her before quickly walking down the steps as fast as her injured body could take her.

-

Wanda was unlucky in the sense that it was pouring with rain outside, but she barely noticed as she hobbled through the street. She was free, what was a little rain?

She had made it halfway down the street before she realised she didn’t know where she was going. Tony’s was out, he was in San Francisco at a conference, Peter had went with him so she couldn’t stay with him. In the end, she had no choice but to go to Bucky, the man she least wanted to admit anything to.

Wanda was lucky in the sense that Bucky was probably at Steve’s and Steve’s apartment was only a ten-minute walk from Vis’.

Once she reached the apartment block, she could feel the fatigue catch up with her and she realised she had left her meds at home and it was going to be a painful 24 hours until she could get them back. Analysing the situation, she decided to get the elevator up the five flights of stairs in case she collapsed halfway.

Staggering along the corridor, she finally reached Steve’s door, letting out a breath of relief she knocked as loudly as she could and heard the shuffling from within.

“Wanda? Hey Buck, Wanda’s here.” Steve called back, a concerned look painted on his face as he looked at Wanda, leaning against the wall wearing nothing but tracksuit bottoms and a vest top.

“What’s Wanda doing here? She never comes here are you sure it’s her?” She heard Bucky lift himself off the couch and come to the door.

“Wanda? What’s up? You look like shit.”

“Thanks Barnes that makes me feel really good about myself.” She joked, reaching out to lean on his arm.

“Seriously what the fuck, what happened?” He led her inside and sat her on the couch.

_This was it, the moment you finally tell the truth._

“My husband.”

There was an awkward moment when nobody knew quite what to say, Steve quickly excused himself to make a pot of tea, leaving Bucky and Wanda alone.

“Vis did this? Wanda you’re pulling my leg c’mon, what really happened?” His tone was joking but his face remained deadly serious.

“I’m telling the truth, Vis did it. Eight days ago, right after I got home from here.” She looked at him, desperate to gauge what he was thinking.

He didn’t say anything, he just got up, grabbed his jacket and left the apartment.


	9. what I need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you all wanted Bucky to beat tf out of Vis after the last chapter but...life ain't like that hunny

Steve returned a few moments later, a pot of tea in one hand, a blanket in the other, a confused look on his face as he realised Bucky wasn’t there anymore.

“He just left, I don’t know where he went.” She muttered as Steve put the pot down on the coffee table.

“Well, if what you said is true, he’s probably gone to speak to your husband.” Steve replied, placing the warm blanket on her shoulders.

“It is true…what I said, you do believe me don’t you? Vis tried to tell me nobody would.”

“I don’t know you very well but going off your injuries and how scared you look…I’d be surprised if you were lying, drink your tea it’ll warm you up.”

The silence wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable, it was calming, it was everything Wanda needed to feel safe. It didn’t last long however, because after a while Nat came through the front door with bags of takeout.

“They didn’t have the sauce he wanted for his kung pou chicken but Bucky’s just going to have to-“ Her eyes had only just met Wanda’s when she walked back from the kitchen back into the living room.

“Hi Nat.” Wanda said, giving the redhead a small wave.

“Did you leave him?”

“Yes.”

“Wait you knew about this?” Steve looked from Wanda to Nat back to Wanda, but the two girls were only looking at each other.

“Did you tell Bucky?”

“Yeah, he just left.”

“Vis better pray he doesn’t come for him then.”

Steve sat awkwardly drinking his tea, watching the two women, wondering if he should excuse himself to escape being the third wheel in this emotional stare down.

-

Bucky didn’t return that night, after a while exhaustion hit Wanda and Steve offered his bed so she could sleep off the day. She lay there in the dark, clutching Bucky’s hoodie she found on the floor, hoping and praying for sleep but it never came.

“Hey.”

She turned her head to see Natasha standing in the doorway, coming into the room and sitting on the bed next to her.

“I didn’t think you’d be able to sleep so I thought you might want some company.”

“You’d think I’d be able to sleep soundly now I’m not in danger but…”

“But you’re so used to not sleeping that even when there’s not a threat, your mind is wired like that.” Nat finished, patting Wanda’s arm.

“You know a lot about this.”

“I’m very smart.”

“If you’re so smart…can you tell me if it gets better? Or will it be sleepless nights for the rest of my life.”

“It gets better…it gets so much better I promise.”

After a while, Wanda did fall asleep, Natasha lying next to her holding her hand to reassure her that she was safe – it was the first peaceful night Wanda had slept through in a long time.

-

It was lunchtime the next day that Bucky actually returned to the apartment, Wanda was watching daytime television to keep her mind off things when all of a sudden, the door burst open and for a moment she thought it was Vis coming to bring her home, only to see Bucky standing soaking wet in the threshold.

He didn’t say anything to her, he just walked into Steve’s bedroom and slammed the door, after a while she decided to go out onto the small balcony/patio to have a cig – she knew she shouldn’t, she knew how bad smoking was but…she just needed to take a moment.

It had stopped raining (thank god) but the plastic garden chair was still wet so she leant against the railing and looked out over the city, the open air hit her skin in a way that chilled her to the bone in the best way possible. Taking out her lighter from the dressing gown Nat had let her borrow, she stood for a minute trying to light it only to discover it was all out of lighter fluid, whispering _shit_ under her breath she returned the lighter to her pocket.

“Those things will kill you.” Came a voice from the sliding door behind her.

“Yeah well, my husband tried to kill me for seven years and I stuck with him so I don’t think one cig will ruin my life.” She turned to see a freshly showered Bucky come towards her with another lighter and he held it to her face as the flame caught the bud and she inhaled.

“Seriously though, stop smoking these things please, you’re not doing your lungs any favours.” He said, lighting his own.

“You’re such a hypocrite.” She muttered, grinning as she flicked some of the ash over the edge of the railing.

“I’m quitting! I swear it this time, Steve’s making me cause apparently America’s golden boy can’t have a boyfriend who enjoys the occasion cigarette.”

“If this is seriously your last cig, then I’m the president of the United States.” She laughed, taking another draw and jokingly blowing the smoke in Bucky’s face.

“Hand on my heart!” He said, placing his and on his heart as if he was standing for the national anthem.

“Well let’s just say I don’t trust people that much anymore.” Her smile begun to fade and the light left her eyes as she looked down over the edge of the balcony.

“I’m sorry…that I left last night, it wasn’t about me and you needed me but…I just couldn’t be there.” He said, joining her looking down at the street below.

“Yeah, I did, I did need you…I didn’t come here for Steve or Nat, I needed you Bucky and you just left me here on my own.” She blinked aggressively, trying desperately not to become upset.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why did you leave? Where did you go?”

“Well, I didn’t know at first…I ended up standing outside your apartment, I guess my mind wanted me to beat up Vis or something but…”

“You didn’t?” She looked at him, watching as he took a draw of his own cig.

“No.” He smiled, flicking ash off into the distance.

“Then what happened?”

“I went for a walk, tried to clear my head…I ended up at that river, you know the one we went skinny-dipping in two summers ago?”

She nodded, smiling as memories of swimming in the sunlight and picnics in the grass flooded her mind. Her smile faltering a little as she remembered lying to Vis about where she was and the split lip that followed.

“Well, I ended up there and I realised that we hadn’t spent time just the two of us in over two years, I hadn’t really noticed if I’m honest. I hate that I didn’t but with meeting Steve and you and Vis…well I thought you two were planning to start a family or something so I didn’t think much of it.”

“He wouldn’t let me see you…he thought you were trying to steal me from him.” She chuckled, the thought seeming so absurd she could barely even imagine it.

“Are you serious? Does he know I’m gay?” Bucky almost choked on his cigarette as he laughed.

“He’s deranged I swear.” She laughed, putting out her cigarette in the nearby ashtray as she exhaled the last of the smoke in her lungs.

“Why didn’t you tell me Wanda? I mean…I’m your best friend aren’t I? We tell each other everything.” He continued to smoke his cigarette, shaking his head as he spoke.

“You are, of course you are, I just…I knew you’d make me leave him.” She said, clearing her throat to stop her voice from breaking.

“You didn’t want to? You stayed for seven fucking years and you didn’t want to leave him?” He stomped the butt of his cigarette out with the heel of his shoe.

“I love him Bucky it’s not that simple.”

“He doesn’t love you though, if you love someone you don’t hurt them on purpose. I love you, Tony and Peter love you and we would never lay a hand on you, that’s love Wanda, not whatever is between you and Vis.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

By this point, she couldn’t hold it in anymore and she let the tears fall from her lashes and as they rolled down her cheeks, she was pulled into an embrace by Bucky. At first, she flinched as Bucky’s arm bumped against her ribs but he quickly moved so that there was no pressure on her injuries.

_She needed this._

_she needed to be loved._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so, this will be my last update for the next fortnight, I'm really sorry guys but I fly to Italy tomorrow and I'm not bringing my laptop so I won't be able to update.  
> I have already written the next chapter in advance so I can post the moment I get home,  
> please be patient,  
> love, B  
> x


	10. I walk the line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back lesbians! I honestly missed writing so much you have NO idea, it feels so good to be back and posting again,  
> Uploads are now returning to a regular schedule.

Wanda stayed at Steve and Nat’s apartment for the next week, she was desperate to stay at Bucky’s or Tony’s, somewhere she knew, but she was safest somewhere Vis didn’t know.

Steve, being the gentleman he was, slept on the couch so Wanda could have a comfortable bed to help heal her ribs. Most nights though, she didn’t even spend in bed, sitting out on the balcony thinking on her own was far more realistic for her.

The group thought it best if she stayed in the apartment for the next few weeks, at least until her ribs healed, tragically that wasn’t for another month and a half and by the end of the fifth week Wanda’s cabin fever was through the roof. She knew in her heart that Vis was probably stalking her every movement and going out unescorted would be the worst idea in the world.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t go out with a friend.

Six weeks and four days after arriving at Steve’s apartment, Wanda found herself sprawled across the sofa, tossing a ball she found on the floor up into the air and catching it again – the monotonous, repetitive act made Wanda want to stab scissors in her eyes but it was the only thing she could do to distract herself.

“Nat!” She called through to the next room, waiting impatiently for the redhead to come and end her boredom.

“What is it?” She called back, still in her bedroom.

“Come here!”

Wanda watched as Natasha reluctantly came out of her bedroom, grab the ball out of mid-air and roll her eyes at the brunette sitting on the couch.

“What is it?”

“You know how you love me and I’ve been stuck in this tiny apartment for over a month now? Well I know I can’t go out alone but I was wondering if you’d come with me to the supermarket?” Wanda batted her eyelashes dramatically and reached out to grab Nat’s hand.

“Wanda…Wanda are you sure? What if you see _him_?” Natasha gave Wanda’s hand a gentle squeeze as she reciprocated the hand-hold.

“I’ll be fine…I’m fine, please I just need to get out, I feel like a prisoner in here.”

Nat hesitated, looking Wanda up and down as if she was scanning for any emotional or physical damage before nodding, grinning and saying:

“Okay, but if we see him we’re leaving straight away.”

Wanda still hadn’t gotten out of the habit of wearing conservative clothes, after seven years of training you can imagine how hard it is to disobey your routine, but she had begun to wear brighter colours again. They were hardly the loud yellows and vibrant pinks she loved to wear before, but when she pulled on Natasha’s plain red t-shirt that day as she got ready to go to the store, Wanda felt like crying.

The pain in her side had almost completely disappeared, which was handy as Wanda felt like skipping down the road she was so happy. It felt as though the world had somehow gotten brighter since that stormy night last month, the colours appeared alive and the people seemed cheerier. The last of the April showers had occurred and they were now in sunny May and when Wanda stepped out of Steve’s apartment building to feel the warm sun on her face, life seemed to begin again.

The supermarket was only a ten-minute drive up the road, but Nat let Wanda pick the music anyway. However, it had been so long since Wanda had listened to anything she wanted that, as she sat in the passenger seat staring at Natasha’s phone trying to pick a song, her eyes began to sting as she panicked and made Nat pick instead.

-

“Wanda, we do not need anymore muffins! There’s literally a whole cupboard filled with them at the apartment because every time Steve goes to the store he brings you a pack back!”

“But these ones are triple chocolate chip!”

“We have two packets of them at home.”

“You’re no fun Natasha.”

Wanda groaned as she pushed the shopping cart through the brightly lit aisles of the supermarket, picking up a pack anyway and discreetly putting it in the cart…only for Nat to scoop them right back out and put the beloved muffins back on the shelf.

They wove through the aisles, Natasha picking out all the essentials like bread, milk, coffee and fruit. Wanda following close behind picking out fun things like chocolate cereal, pancake mix and a rather large packet of biscuits. After the muffin section at the very front of the store, Nat didn’t stop Wanda from picking out anything else, she could buy what she wanted, it had been a long time since she could go to the supermarket and buy what _Wanda_ wanted after all.

Just before they reached the checkout, Nat dragged Wanda into the alcohol aisle – she claimed she was going to a party at her friend Sharon’s house and had to bring something. Wanda had been sober for seven years so just stood idly by the shopping cart at the end of the aisle, watching as the redhead picked out a eight pack of beer at the other end.

“Hello Wanda.”

A chill ran down her spine as her stomach flipped and her heart began to race, she knew that voice, that was her husband’s voice.

“Good to see you out and about.”

She turned slowly, terrified of the person that stood behind her and looked up into those piercing blue eyes that had stared her down so many times in fits of anger, her lungs struggling as she battled with her ‘fight or flight’ response.

_To stay and fight or to run and let him win?_

“Yes, well broken ribs can do that to a person.”

_He is never going to win again._

“You’ve gotten awfully argumentative since you ran out on me, it’s a shame…I always did prefer you silent.”

“You also preferred me beaten black and blue on the bathroom floor.”

He wasn’t carrying a basket or pushing a cart, he wasn’t holding anything he wasn’t going to buy when he left, Wanda realised almost immediately that he had come her for her and only her.

“You step away from her right now or I will smash a bottle and slice your throat with the shards.”

Nat had returned, dropping the beer into the cart and standing directly in front of Wanda, in between her and Vis, acting as a human shield.

“And you are?”

“Natasha Romanoff, and I know _exactly_ who _you_ are so there’s no need to introduce yourself, so just move along and stop bothering my friend.”

“So, she’s the one who brought the chocolate’s.” He looked straight through Nat to Wanda, making the painfully familiar eye-contact that always made Wanda feel as though he was blaming her for something.

“If you don’t leave her alone right now-“

“What will you do? I’m not breaking any rules? I’m just minding my own business in a supermarket.” He turned his attention to the redhead blocking his path.

“Nat, it’s okay, lets just pay and leave.” She murmured into the redhead’s ear, tugging on the sleeve of her leather jacket.

“That’s right, stand down guard dog.”

Sensing Natasha was about to rip Vis’ guts out in the middle of the supermarket, Wanda grabbed her hand and began to pull her away from the situation. As she walked away from the aisle she left Vis in, she could sense his eyes on her.

The two women stayed silent until they got into the car in the car park, even then they sat without speaking, the cars engine not even running.

“I’m sorry.” Wanda whispered, fiddling with her rings.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, I’m the one who should be apologising. I knew we shouldn’t have left the apartment, I knew he’d be waiting there.” Natasha angrily slammed her hand into the side of the steering wheel, causing Wanda to jump.

“Shit, I’m sorry Wanda I shouldn’t have snapped, I’m sorry.” Nat reached her hand out, but as her fingertips lightly grazed Wanda’s, the brunette quickly withdrew her hand and kept her eyes focused on the car parked in front of them.

“Okay, it’s okay we’ll just go home.” Natasha brushed off Wanda’s rejection and started the car, pulling out the car park and beginning the drive home.


	11. habits of my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> P.T.W- Talk of suicide/descriptions of a suicide attempt

_I wish I didn’t have to live like this._

_Nat bought me this journal so I could talk about what’s going through my head without actually having to talk to anybody, I’m glad she realises I am nowhere near ready to talk to anyone. I’m not quite sure what to write though, I saw Vis at the supermarket today so that happened I guess._

_I already have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, had it since high school, but I swear I’ve never been closer to a panic attack than I was when I heard his voice behind me. I don’t know why he has such a hold on me, probably years of him teaching me to fear him. I don’t know how he’s reduced me to this, I used to be so alive, I used to love life but now…now I’m not sure if I want to carry on…_

_God that was dark, I’ve never said that before, not to anybody, I haven’t even written it down. I never wanted to admit it – that death is the only real way I could escape Vis._

She sat for a moment and looked out over the city, twirling her pen between her fingers trying to think of what should write next.

_It’s cold out here on the balcony but I don’t mind, the wind keeps me awake. I haven’t told Bucky or the others but I have really terrible nightmares. I never had them when I lived with Vis, but ever since I ran out I don’t know…I guess it’s the constant fear that he’s going to get me, take me away again and I’ll never get out again._

_I might have been physically trapped in this apartment this past month, but that was to let my ribs heal, to let my mind heal, and I knew I was safe and with people who cared. If I was trapped back with Vis, I wouldn’t be safe, I was never safe with him._

_How was I such an idiot? Why didn’t I leave him that night he first slapped me? I’m so weak, pathetic really. What kind of woman lets a man hit her for wanting a baby? What kind of woman covers for a man who puts her in hospital?_

_I still love him, that’s the most tragic part of all of this, if my friends let me I’d go back to him in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t hesitate for a second._

There was a splash of water on her hand and Wanda decided enough was enough and closed the notebook and went inside to avoid the rain. It was late, about 2.30 in the morning, but as she closed the door to the balcony she heard a faint tapping on her door.

“Come in.” She said softly, hiding her journal under a pile of jumpers on the floor – she really needed to tidy up before Steve moved back into his room.

The door opened slowly and the room was flooded with the golden glow of the hallway light, the outline of Nat entering and closing the door behind her.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I just wanted to check on you.”

Wanda smiled and watched the redhead move closer to her. No lamps were on and the only source of light was the rainy sky on the other side of the balcony doors, it was dark but Wanda could see Nat perfectly.

“You don’t need to do that, I’m fine honestly.”

“You’re not fine and I don’t expect you to be after today.” Natasha moved her hand and took Wanda’s in her own, the brunette flinching only a little at the other woman’s touch.

“It was my fault, I shouldn’t have left the apartment.” Wanda whispered, gladly welcoming the warmth of Nat’s hand on her own icy cold one.

“It was nobody’s fault but his, don’t ever blame yourself.” She stepped forward just a step, their bodies practically touching.

Wanda didn’t say anything, she just watched as the other woman brought her hand up to her lips and gently kissed it, making a slight shiver run down the brunette’s spine as she felt Nat’s breath on her skin before her green eyes looked up again and locked with Wanda’s olive ones.

“Nat I’m not-“

“I know, I just wanted you to know.”

“I still love him.”

“I know.” Nat smiled sadly, squeezed Wanda’s hand and left quietly without another word.

-

She didn’t know what she was doing, she just knew she needed to leave, needed to get away.

Wanda grabbed her phone, her journal and put her shoes on before catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror and stopping.

She looked tired, god she looked exhausted. Her skin seemed to be paler than usual and the bags under her eyes had never been more apparent, how could Natasha want her when she was like this? How could Natasha want her at all?

Opening and closing the door as silently as she could, Wanda stepped out into the hallway. She knew Bucky was staying at his own apartment tonight and she had heard Nat go back to her own room, the only issue would be Steve on the couch. He was a light sleeper and Wanda knew it, one wrong move would wake him up and then it would all be over.

Stepping over the spot she knew creaked, she took another step towards the door, and another and another until she was slowly turning the key in the lock, taking one last look at Steve and Natasha’s apartment before she slipped out the front door.

The nights air was cool against her skin, it was still raining but only a little as she stepped out onto the street. She walked quickly, as if she was being followed, as if there were hot coals under her feet. Street after street, her legs took her through the city as if they were being guided by some unknown force.

There was a bridge a few blocks away from her old apartment she shared with Vis, she would often walk over it if she escaped to Tony’s for the night, it was that bridge she ended up at that Wednesday night.

It was quiet, the streets would be silent if it wasn’t for the distant sound of cars from the middle of the city. It was so quiet Wanda could hear her own breaths and she swore her heartbeat was ten times louder than usual, the noise of the river below her filled her ears and she focused solely on the splashing against the rocks. Life was peaceful, life was calm but life couldn’t stay this way.

Taking the journal and a pencil out of the pocket of her hoodie, Wanda leant the book against the barrier and began with shaky hands:

_I feel so trapped, like I have nowhere to go anymore. I’m an inconvenience to my friends by crashing at their every night, I know I could go stay with Tony or Peter for a while but…what’s the point? I’m just going to go back to him eventually._

_The way I see it, I have two options. I can either continue to lie to myself and pretend everything’s okay and have it all end when I get back together with Vis and he kills me, or I just do it myself._

_If I do it myself then Vis won’t get the satisfaction._

_So this is my second and final journal entry, it was good while it lasted._

She sat the journal under a rock so it could be found easier, then climbed over the barrier. It was almost as if she was in a daze, as if she felt there was no consequences to anything she did, because it was all a dream after all.

Wanda took a breath. A deep, long breath that seemed to fill her entire lungs, she held the air in for a moment before exhaling – she was happy.

“Wanda?”

Her head whipped round to see Vis standing on the other side of the barrier, a hand stretched out a little towards her and the disappointment hit her – he wasn’t Nat or Bucky or Tony, Steve or Peter, he hadn’t come to save her.

“Fuck off.” She said, and for the first time she felt tears prick in the backs of her eyes.

“Wanda what the fuck are you doing? Get down from there!” He shuffled closer, right hand still raised.

“I said fuck off Vis!” Her breathing had become shaky and her knees weak as she struggled to hold onto the bannister.

“Wanda for Christs sake! Don’t be an idiot!”

“You always thought I was too dumb for you anyway.”

“I never did, you were always smarter than me and I knew it, that’s why I lashed out so much.”

“Oh you thought I was smarter than you and that’s why you gave me all those concussions.” She laughed a shallow laugh, the audacity of this man to lie like that.

“Wanda, I promise I’m changing…really this time.” She felt his warm fingers lightly brush her frozen ones and flinched.

“Bullshit.” She spat out, not moving her hand away from his though.

“I mean it, I’m seeing a therapist, I’m going to anger management courses…I need you back with me and I’ll do anything you want me to if you just…just come back over the barrier.”

She turned her head slightly to see traces of tears in the man’s eyes and her heart softened, this was him – the man she fell in love with all those years ago, maybe he had come back to her?

“You are?” She hesitated, not blinking as she looked at him.

“Yes, yes I am…just come back to me.”

Wanda stayed silent for a moment and looked down to the water below – she didn’t really want this tonight, life could get better. Taking a breath, she slowly turned to face Vis and pushed herself back over the barrier to join him, falling into his arms as she reached the other side before she began to sob. As she inhaled his familiar scent Wanda hated herself for ever leaving, for ever thinking she could live without him, she knew she needed him.

“Can we go home now?” She whispered as he pulled her into a proper embrace.

“Of course.”

 


	12. in my dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bit of a shorter chapter sorry :(  
> also i know there hasnt been a shit ton of ScarletWidow given that it is in fact a ScarletWidow fic but please be patient we're getting there this is a slowburn fic ya'll.

Sunlight streamed in through the window onto Wanda’s face when she woke the next morning, for a few seconds she didn’t open her eyes and just let the warmth of the light soak into her skin as she smiled, the smell of toast wafting through from the kitchen, the faint sound of Vis’ record player in the distance – she was home.

Opening her eyes, she was met with the familiar view of the bedroom dresser, her small collection of jewellery sitting on a stand on top of the oak wood. Sitting up she looked down to notice she had changed into her pyjamas during the night – of course she had, Vis had given her the pink silk ones he had bought her for her 23rd birthday when they had gotten home. She smiled, he knew they were her favourite.

Stretching and standing up, she felt the same soft carpet she had felt under her bare feet for years and rubbed her toes into the fibres before walking through the open doorway to the kitchen to see Vis putting a plate of toast and a glass of apple juice on a tray accompanied with a single red rose.

“Morning.” She grinned as he fumbled with the tray for a moment before spinning to meet her gaze.

“I thought you were still asleep! I was going to surprise you.” He sighed, walking closer to her putting his head in his hands in an exasperated over exaggeration.

“The sun woke me up, I should’ve remembered you like to sleep with the blinds up.” She smiled as he gently brought her chin up so she could meet his lips.

“Is that toast?” She teased as her feet danced a little. It was so nice here, so familiar, so like the early days it made her heart glow.

“You could’ve had it in bed you know, if only you hadn’t been so impatient.” He placed the tray in front of her on the counter.

“Oh god I’m a fool then.” She beamed, taking a sip of the chilled apple juice – god he really did know what she liked.

They sat in silence as Wanda ate and Vis read the paper across from her, both sneakily stealing looks at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking, it wasn’t like the old uncomfortable silences, it was far more intimate.

Their quiet breakfast was broken by the sound of someone running up the stairs outside their apartment, in fact Wanda swore there must have been at least four or five of them – a whole stampede of idiots ruining her morning. The thumping was followed by several rapid bangs at the door, Wanda and Vis exchanged a look before Vis held his hand up to say “I’ll get it don’t worry” and left her sitting at the breakfast island as he unchained and unlocked the front door.

“Where is she!”

“You better not have hurt her!”

“I swear to fuck I will kill you!”

“Where’s Wanda!”

Bucky burst in first, followed by Steve, Nat and Tony, all four of their eyes frantic as they searched the room only to find Wanda sitting comfortably on a breakfast stool.

“Wanda! Thank god you’re alright.” Bucky let out a sigh and he quickly pulled her into a rough embrace, leaving her startled.

“What the fuck Maximoff, you can’t just run off like that.” Came Nat’s voice from behind Bucky, Wanda looked to see the area around the other woman’s eyes were as red as her hair as she stood next to Steve who looked equally as exhausted.

“Hey, you guys can’t just burst in here!” Vis shouted, going to move next to Wanda only to be body-blocked by Tony who muttered “not another step” as he stared Vis down, her husband looked at her before relaxing his body and throwing up his hands as a sign of defeat.

“Right Wanda lets go home.” Bucky said, taking her hand in his and moving towards the door, only stopping when he felt her tug back.

“Wanda?”

“I-I am home…this is my home.” She wrapped her arms around herself, avoiding eye contact with the group.

“Wanda, you can’t be serious.” Bucky let out a shallow laugh before looking at the quiet brunette and dropping his smile.

“I’m married Bucky, I can’t just run away when things get tough…”

“Things didn’t get tough, he put you in hospital!”

“I love him, you don’t understand-“

“He doesn’t love you! This isn’t love! Don’t be delusional!”

“Can we not yell?” Vis said, only for Bucky to turn slowly and before Wanda knew what was happening, her husband was lying on the floor clutching his – now broken – nose.

“Vis! Bucky why did you do that?” She gasped as she knelt by the man on the floor and helped him into a sitting position.

“C’mon Buck, you gotta go cool off somewhere.” Steve stepped in, putting his arm around her best friend and guiding him out the apartment.

“Wanda, please…just come stay with me?” Tony pleaded, kneeling next to her, not helping Vis but placing a hand on her to make her look at him.

“It’s different this time Tony, I promise.”

“I’m here if you need me, always.” He gave her hand a squeeze and walked out the door, leaving Wanda alone with Vis and Nat.

“Can I talk to you for a minute.” The redhead asked, standing still as a statue in the corner of the room, she hadn’t moved once since she arrived.

“I have to help clean up Vis’ nose.”

“He’s a big boy, he can look after himself for a few minutes.”

Sensing that she wasn’t going to win this fight, she gave Vis a kiss on his forehead and quickly pulled on her slippers and her dressing gown as she followed Nat out of the apartment into the hallway.

“Was it my fault?” Nat asked the moment Wanda shut the door behind her.

“What?”

“Was it my fault? That you ran, did I freak you out? Because if it was then I’m so sorry I should never had said anything, it was selfish of me.” Nat’s voice was thick with emotion and she was holding her arms close to her chest.

“No, no nothing’s your fault, it was bound to happen sooner or later…I love him Nat.”

“But there are other people who could love _you_ Wanda, people who would love you better than he ever could.” Nat’s eyes finally met Wanda’s, the brunette noticing hints of tears in the redhead’s green eyes.

“What are you saying? Are you saying I should…what? Leave Vis for you? I’m straight Nat.” She scoffed.

“No! Do you know what? Fucking forget it, I tried Wanda, I really tried to help you but I can’t help if you don’t want to leave him!”

Without a goodbye, Nat stomped away down the stairs and out of the building, leaving Wanda alone in the hallway.

-

“You really have made some strange choices for friends Wanda.” Vis said as they got into bed that night, he sat reading his book as she slipped under the covers next to him and sank into her pillows.

“Tony’s your friend too you know, he was your friend first.” She closed her eyes, ready to sleep.

“Well he’s certainly not my friend anymore…barging into my house and accusing me of what? Kidnapping you?”

“Tony just cares too much about me, they all do.” She muttered as she pulled the covers over herself, desperate for her husband to just be quiet, she’d had a long day.

“They’re idiots, the lot of them.” He sighed as he closed his book and placed it on the bedside table while Wanda sat up and looked at him.

“Please don’t talk about my friends like that.”

“Wanda, they’re a bunch of bumbling idiots. I don’t know how you put up with them if I’m honest.” His expression stayed passive and he looked as if in his mind he had already won the argument.

“They might seem like that to you but they’re my _friends_ Vis, they’ve been there for me when nobody else has and supported me and I’d really like it if you didn’t talk such shit about them.”

“Wanda they-“

“And I know they burst in here today and they shouldn’t have done that but they were only doing it because they thought I was in danger and were coming to help.”

“Don’t interrupt me.”

His bored expression had transformed into the familiar stony one that had haunted Wanda’s thoughts for the past month, the face that meant she needed to shut up and go to sleep before something went wrong.

“Sorry.” She muttered before Vis turned to click the bedside lamp off, leaving her sitting up in the dark while he fell asleep.


	13. girls like girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's like 2 letters in the chapter what was i doing?

“Get up!”

Wanda woke up without warning to shouting and someone violently ripping the safety of the duvet away from her. Confused and, she held up her hands as an act of surrender, praying he would give her mercy.

She was not so lucky.

Suddenly, her wrist was gripped tightly and she was yanked from her bed and thrown onto the floor, her head smacking against the dresser as she fell.

“Vis! Stop it!” She whimpered before curling up into a ball as he kicked her.

-

She didn’t know how long she’d been lying there, all she knew is that she had heard Vis slam the front door shut as he left for work, but that must have been at least an hour ago.

Wanda let out a loud sob. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Not this time.

It had been five months since she returned to her husband, the first month was fine, it felt like the first month of their marriage again, but after that…things had just gone back to the way they had always been.

How could she have been so stupid?

Pushing herself to sit up, she lifted her pyjama shirt to see bruises begin to form around her abdomen, at least he hadn’t broken anything this time. Wanda had noticed that he had taken special care not to do anything that could land her in hospital since she came back. Lightly touching the part of her head that she had hit against the dresser, she felt the familiar wetness of blood and sighed – that was probably going to need a dressing on it.

Moving through to the bathroom she began to rummage through the medicine cupboard and thanked the lord to see they had one more dressing left, flinching as she dapped the cut with antiseptic she pressed the dressing down and stayed for a moment, looking at the shadow of a woman in the mirror. How could she let this happen?

She had barely left the house in the past months, Vis often left her locked in the apartment during the day because he was scared she’d run away again. Due to this, and the fact she had her phone taken off her, Wanda had been left with virtually no contact with the outside world. Tony came over a few times but Vis shooed him away at the door saying she was too unwell to have visitors. Tony – sensing bullshit – sent her a get well soon card in the mail which Wanda was able to read before Vis got home.

_Dear Wanda,_

_Hopefully you get this before Vis see’s it. I came over but he said you were ‘sick’ with is utter horsecrap I know, I’m still here for you I hope you know that._

_We didn’t want to risk anything so this card is from all of us, Bucky, Steve and Peter too. I asked Nat if she wanted to say anything but she just said that you know how she feels? I don’t know what that means but it’s what she said._

_Anyway, if you ever need rescuing call me,_

_Love, Tony._

_Xxx_

Wanda burned it in the fireplace after she read it, she knew if Vis suspected contact to anyone she’d be in trouble, but it hurt her heart to destroy it, her last piece of her friends.

Wanda thought a lot about Nat during the long days she spent alone, how soft her fingers were the night she confessed her feelings, how equally soft her lips were when she kissed her hand, her striking red hair and her beautiful green eyes. What was her excuse? That she was straight? She knew that wasn’t a fact the moment she lay eyes on Nat that first time at Steve’s apartment. Was she attracted to Nat? Yes. Wanda always had a habit of being attracted to everyone she met, but this was different. The image of Nat in the low-light of Wanda’s bedroom that rainy night was imprinted in her mind, the way her hair fell against her face – still wet from the late-night shower she had taken just before she spoke to Wanda, the permanent slight smirk on her lips, those lips that looked so incredibly soft and kissable. God, why didn’t Wanda kiss her when she had the chance?

It didn’t matter anymore.

Sitting on the couch, she let her tears fall, the tears she couldn’t show around Vis in case he got angry at her. She couldn’t do this anymore, she couldn’t live like this anymore. It was like that night on the bridge all over again.

As the tears ran down her face she rushed through to the bedroom, desperate to write that final note for real this time. Under the dresser she was able to hide the journal Nat had bought her all those months ago, she wrote in it when she could – which wasn’t often but she made do.

Dropping it on the bedroom floor, she scrambled to find a pen and when she returned, she saw the book had opened on a random page, only it had already been written on. Only it wasn’t her handwriting.

**_Wanda, my love,_ **

**_I gather that by now you know how I feel about you and I know – you’re straight, you love Vis an there’s a million other reasons why you can’t be with me but…Wanda I love you immensely._ **

**_And I know you’re going to go back to him, that’s why I’m writing this, so even when you’re at your lowest you know there’s someone out there who loves you unconditionally. I’m not the best at expressing my emotions, or emotions in general if I’m completely honest. I don’t know how or when I fell in love with you, I just know that all I want for you is happiness._ **

**_Maybe it was when you fell asleep with your head on my shoulder that time we watched Star Wars, or the way your fingers brushed mine when we were both making coffee at the same time, or how excited you got when I let you win at cards – I just know that at some point I started to see you differently, started to remember every touch and every laugh._ **

**_This is soppy I’m so sorry I just needed to get it off my chest._ **

**_If you need me, I’ll always be there, always._ **

**_Yours, Natasha Romanoff._ **

“Oh my god.” Wanda whispered to herself.

She re-read it. Then she read it again. And again. And one more time just in case her eyes were lying to her.

“Oh my god.” She said again, louder this time.

Nat _loved_ her, really honestly truly loved her. Wanda felt the tears well up in her eyes, they weren’t the sad, broken tears she was used to, they were tears of joy, tears of recognition and acceptance.

Looking back over the time she spent with Nat, she realised something, remembering all the stolen looks and casual touches that sent shivers down her spine, the feeling in her gut when Nat kissed her hand that she tried so desperately to push away from her mind to the point of denying it existed.

_Wanda felt the same._

She needed to find her. She needed to find Nat and tell her how she felt. Right now.

Quickly pulling on jeans and a t-shirt she rushed to the front door. When she was little, her and Pietro were obsessed with spy movies. They would play for hours pretending to be James Bond, so of course she knew how to pick a lock. The front door was open in minutes and she was already down the stairs and out the apartment building.

Without even knowing what she was doing, Wanda found herself running to Steve and Nat’s apartment and was knocking at the door. Her heart in her throat, she waited as she heard Steve’s heavy footsteps come to the door and unlock the bolt.

“Wanda? I-I haven’t seen you in a while, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine Steve but I need to talk to-“ she panted.

“Buck’s not here, he’s at work, I can tell him you were here though. Or do you need to hide here for a while because that’s also okay.” Rodgers looked at her with those big puppy dog eyes of his and she had to fight off the urge to give him a hug so she wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed.

“No, not Bucky. I need to talk to Nat.” She said, fingers anxiously fiddling with the bottom of her t-shirt as she tried to look into the apartment behind Steve.

“She’s not here either, I think she went on a coffee date with some girl she met, why?”

Wanda’s heart plummeted. She swore she could feel it break a little as she blinked in disbelief, she was too late, she figured herself out too late and now she’d lost her. Nat was going to fall in love with the coffee shop girl and they were going to live happily ever after leaving Wanda alone, watching the life she could’ve lived unfold in front of her.

“No…No big deal, I just needed to tell her something.” She muttered, looking at the ground so Steve wouldn’t see the tears beginning to form in her eyes.

“Well I could pass on a message? I know you don’t have a phone to text her with.”

“No its fine, it didn’t matter anyway.” She said, turning to leave.

“Wanda! Why don’t you stay for a while? Bucky gets back in twenty.” She heard the blonde call after her but she ignored him, what was the point in staying if Nat wasn’t there?

-

Wanda walked slowly back home, she knew she was going to be punished for leaving the house, normally she would try and pretend she’d been reading on the couch but it was past twelve now and Vis would be home to have lunch and would know she had left.

Fuck life was shit.

Just as she went to turn into her street, she suddenly bumped into someone going the opposite way (her fault from looking at the ground too much) and mumbled a “sorry” before she heard a reply.

“Wanda?”

Her heart skipped a beat as she spun around the see the redhead she had been searching for stand opposite her.

“Nat!” She exclaimed, and before she knew it Wanda had flung her arms around Nat’s neck and began to breath a sigh of relief as the other woman wrapped her arms around her.

“I never thought you’d be so happy to see me.” Nat murmured against Wanda’s neck before Wanda moved her face to look at her, her arms still wrapped around Nat’s neck, Nat’s still holding on tightly to Wanda’s waist.

“I got your note.” Wanda said, making Nat’s cheeks turn as red as her hair.

“That’s so embarrassing I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-“

Nat didn’t get to finish her sentence before Wanda pressed her lips onto hers. There was a moment of awkward fumbling as the redhead tried to work out what was happening but after that moment, it was like it was always meant to happen. Wanda grinned against Nat’s mouth and tangled her fingers in those red locks she hadn’t been able to get out of her mind for the past month.

“That was…unexpected.” Nat let out a slight laugh as she pulled away from the brunette.

“I just ran all the way to your apartment, Steve said you were out on a date.” Wanda muttered, fingers still intertwined with Nat’s hair.

“Yeah well, she was boring so I left early.”

“Oh?”

“She wasn’t you.”


	14. learn to let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going back to school tomorrow so updates may be a little bit less frequent but don't worry, there'll still be at least 2-3 updates a week :)

“I don’t know what to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I just did the big romantic first kiss that always happens at the end of the movie…what happens next?”

“We go home.”

Nat’s grinning stopped as she saw Wanda’s face freeze and her smile drop from her face – where was home?

“Or not, if I’m overthinking this?”

“No, I just…what about Vis?” She asked the redhead.

“Wanda, fuck him, come stay with me tonight.”

“But-“

“Darling we will figure it out tomorrow! I promise everything will be fine.”

Wanda waited a moment before smiling widely and bringing Nat’s face closer so their lips met again, inhaling her perfume, the taste of coffee and the softness of her skin.

“Okay.”

-

They didn’t hold hands as they walked briskly back to Nat’s house, scared Vis would pop out of the shadows and find out Wanda had “cheated” on him. They still walked as close together as they could, fingers brushing against hands, that sort of thing.

It was only when they were inside Nat’s apartment building did they finally let their hands intertwine, Natasha’s thumb rubbing against Wanda’s palm in circular motions as both women grinned walking up the stairwell. Despite the fact Steve had been there only minutes ago, he appeared to have disappeared, “off to see Bucky I suppose” Nat had said as she went to brew a pot of tea – something she knew calmed Wanda after a long day.

They didn’t speak much the rest of the day, sitting on the couch in comfortable silence for a while before Wanda drifted off into a doze, her head resting on Nat’s lap as the other woman stroked her hair and watched whatever forgettable 80’s movie was on television. She didn’t dream of anything, not anything she could remember anyway which was good – it meant she didn’t have a nightmare. When she finally woke up, Nat was still there, lazily running her fingers through her hair, only now there was a generic cop show on the tv.

“How long was I asleep?” She mumbled against the redhead’s jeans.

“About an hour and a half, I didn’t want to wake you.” Nat’s voice was soft, softer than it had ever been around Wanda before almost as if you could hear the smile in her voice.

“I hate you! Now I’ll never sleep tonight.” Wanda whined as she sat up and placed a kiss of Nat’s cheek.

“You never sleep anyway.”

“You’re mean.”

-

It was raining again, Wanda sat in Nat’s bed watching the drops run down the window pane like miniature streams, while she was glad she wasn’t out during the downpour, she had to admit she was sad she wasn’t in Steve’s room anymore because his was the room that actually had the balcony attached.

Not that Wanda didn’t like Nat’s room, she liked how neat it was, she liked the silk sheets and the smell of the candles she burned, but most of all she liked the woman she was sharing a bed with. She looked at the sleeping figure next to her and smiled as she gently moved some red hair out of the way so she could see her face. Wanda had always noticed Nat’s beauty, ever since that first time she saw her in this very apartment as she sat drinking a bottle of beer and laughing about quitting her job. Her smile faltering a little as she remembered the hospital trip that followed.

But now, right now as Nat lay next to her, Wanda was sure she had never seen anything so beautiful in her life. How she had wasted so many years with that man was a mystery to her when this woman was out there existing in the world.

That’s so dramatic, she thought to herself.

“Mmm…Wanda? Sweetheart…you’re still awake.” She heard Nat mumble as she sat us next to her, rubbing her eyes.

“You can go back to sleep, I’m alright on my own.” Wanda whispered back.

“I’m awake now.” Nat said, bring Wanda’s hand to her mouth and gently kissing it.

There was a pause before Wanda looked back out the window.

“Do you think I’m weak?”

“Why would I think you’re weak?”

“For staying with him for so long.” She kept her eyes plastered to the window, scared that if she was to look at the woman next to her she might burst into tears.

“I don’t think that makes you weak…I think…I think that makes you strong.” Nat moved so she was sitting cross-legged opposite Wanda, her hand placed on the brunettes as.

“Wanda? Look at me.”

She turned her head to look a her, eye to eye, and when Nat squeezed her hand, she felt the tears well up.

“I just, I don’t know...who I am anymore.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know who I am because he _killed_ me Nat, he wore me down until I don’t know who I am…if I don’t have him.”

The tears fell silently, Wanda blinking in an attempt to get them all out quickly so she could stop embarrassing herself. She noticed a change in Nat’s eyes, almost as if she was battling with something herself, then the redhead stiffened a little and moved her eyes away from Wanda’s.

“Wanda, can I tell you something? Something I’ve never told anyone before?” her voice was cold and unloving, Wanda knew that voice, it was the voice you used to distance yourself from the situation, the voice you use when you’re trying no to break down in tears on the spot.

She nodded in response.

“I haven’t always been a lesbian-“

“Shocker, thanks for sharing that was really emotional.” Wanda interrupted, grinning.

“Shut up! I’m trying to be serious here!” Nat chuckled, slightly shoving Wanda’s leg in reply.

“When I was in my last year of high school, I was dating this guy…his name was Bruce and-“

“Who the fuck calls their kid ‘Bruce’? its like they want them to get bullied.” Wanda mumbled to herself, only for Nat to stare impatiently at her.

“Will you stop interrupting? Anyway Bruce was this really sweet guy, a bit of a nerd really-“

“Wow you dating a nerd I mean-“

“Wanda!” Nat laughed at the other woman’s smirk and leant in for a kiss.

“Okay, I won’t interrupt anymore.”

“Yes, he was a bit of a _nerd,_ he loved science and plants and we’d go on dates to the aquarium and stuff…it was nice, I really liked him…but he had a temper.”

Suddenly Wanda no longer had the urge to interrupt.

“He used to call it ‘the hulk’, it was when he was drunk mostly, but he used to do all sorts of things…throw me against walls, pull my hair, he even broke my ankle once pushing me down the stairs…”

“Nat…I didn’t know…”

“Nobody does, I was young, I had nowhere else to go except to him. I was weaker then, no friends, family dead, no support system whatsoever to go to if I left him. We didn’t last long, only two years, but when it was over…I had no choice to become tough and emotionless, I don’t like letting people in anymore I guess.”

“Nobody knows?”

“I moved here right after we ended, moved in with Steve and never looked back.”

“What happened…to Bruce?”

“He died, hit by a car, I thank god every single day for that drunk driver, without him dead I would never have been free.”

There was silence for a moment, Wanda not quite sure what to say, until she realised some of the most meaningful moments aren’t spoken and she moved forward to wrap her arms around Nat. The other woman holding her breath for a moment before exhaling and moving her arms around Wanda in a moment, the redheads body shaking a little as she tried her best to cry silently.


	15. i say a little prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a slightly shorter chapter than usual I'm sorry, but enjoy ;)

They slept on and off throughout the night, Nat eventually fell asleep with her arms wrapped around the brunette’s waist, Wanda drifting off with her head at the bottom of the bed before waking up groggily curling up next to Nat and placing her head on the redhead’s stomach.

“You’re cute when you sleep, you snore though.”

Wanda blinked herself awake to see a tired looking redhead looking down at her.

“I do not!” she groaned as she turned away and closed her eyes again, flipping herself so she had her back to Nat.

“You do, it’s not bad, just a slight wheezing from time to time – I think it’s cute.” She whispered, planting a kiss on Wanda’s cheek as she pulled her closer, snuggling into her neck.

“You think I’m cute? That’s cute.”

“Cute.” They giggled, Nat trailing kisses down Wanda’s neck and shoulder, grinning all the way.

“We need to get up darling, it’s already mid-day.” Nat murmured against her skin, kissing her shoulder one last time before sitting up and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed.

“Why bother? We’re not doing anything today, let’s just stay in bed.” Wanda muttered against her pillow, pulling the sheet up further in an attempt to hide from the world.

“As much as I would like that, I need to go to work.” Nat pulled on a pair of jeans from the bedroom floor and began to lace up her boots.

“Work? You don’t have a job!” Wanda exclaimed, sitting up.

“I do so! I got a job as a barista at the coffee shop down the street.” Nat said, playfully shoving Wanda’s leg.

Quickly crawling over, Wanda flung her arms around Nat’s neck and kissed her cheek, embracing her from behind as she muttered an “I’m so proud” before planting one last kiss and falling back onto the mattress.

“Don’t be overdramatic it’s only a coffee shop job, plus the hours are stupid, I mean – one till seven? With no break? Disgusting.”

“Those actually sound like really good hours…” Wanda smirked as she watched Nat turn and shuffle over so she was almost touching Wanda’s nose with her own, Wanda’s legs on either side of her, almost holding her into place.

“That’s six whole hours I’m not with you, so yeah, they’re shitty hours in my opinion.” She replied, slowly and softly kissing Wanda, the brunette cupping her face as she felt her own face begin to burn (she had always blushed at the worst moments).

“You’re so soppy Nat.” Wanda laughed against Nat’s lips.

“Natasha. Call me Natasha.”

Both women broke away for a moment, Wanda beaming as she said:

“Okay _Natasha_.”

-

The rest of the day was quiet, Wanda ended up following Natasha to the coffee shop and sat for the full six hours reading, talking to the redhead on her breaks, even drinking the occasional latte just so she could stay. After a while, Wanda pulled out the laptop Nat had let her borrow and got to work, at first, she just searched the internet to keep her distracted, looked at cat videos and read online reviews of movies she wanted to watch now she had left him.

Then she saw it. The ad for domestic abuse lawyers.

It was cheesy, it was cheap and she wouldn’t pick that firm in a million years but…but it did put a thought in her mind.

“You ready to go? Rachel’s letting me off early because she has a yoga class or some shit.”

Quickly shutting the laptop, Wanda turned and smiled at Nat.

“Sure, let’s go home.”

Packing up her things, she left hand in hand with Nat. the sun setting in front of her as she began to fill the familiar feeling of hope filling up her chest, followed by the familiar feeling of the knowledge that it wasn’t going to work out, nothing ever did, not for Wanda.

-

“What should we tell Steve and Bucky? I mean, I can’t just show up in their apartment and expect them to be welcoming hosts.” Wanda fretted as they began to walk up the apartment stairwell.

“Okay, first of all, as much as he likes to think it – Bucky doesn’t actually live here, and I’m one of the two people who _do_ live there, so I can bring home whoever I want to.” Nat said, kissing Wanda’s hand as they reached the first floor.

“Still, I’m not a random girl from a bar that they’ll never have to see again.”

“You’re Bucky’s best friend? Why wouldn’t he want you to live with me?”

“I haven’t talked to him in months, what if he hates me for abandoning him?” She spoke quietly and held Natasha’s hand a little tighter.

“Trust me, he’s been nothing but worried about you since you left. I mean, the amount of times me and Steve have had to fight him to stop him barging over to your house again…the man’s a loose cannon.” She returned the squeeze.

“Why did you? Stop him?”

“I knew that forcing you out wasn’t going to work, you’d just keep going back to him, it killed me but I knew you had to make the decision yourself if you were ever going to get out for good.” Nat’s tone was cold, it was clear it hurt her to talk about the past few months.

“Did you ever give up on me? Did you ever think that I wasn’t going to come back?”

Natasha stopped, standing a step above Wanda, both women panting a little because of the climb up the three flights. She cupped the brunette’s face in her hands and sighed, shaking her head a little as Wanda noticed the slight wetness around her eyes.

“Never. I never gave up on you.”

Wanda smiled, looking up at the redhead, tentatively raising her thumb to wipe away one of the tears that had fallen down Natasha’s cheek while she had spoken. Then, Nat leant her face down so that their lips met, it was a soft kiss. Not filled with passion or lust, but of acceptance and forgiveness. Accepting that maybe Wanda would never truly be the same girl she was before Vis, accepting that Natasha cared for Wanda enough to soften and let her guard down just a little when she was around her. Forgiving Nat for not rescuing Wanda even if it’s what she thought was best, forgiving Wanda for taking so long to accept that she deserves more.

It truly was the most beautiful kiss either of them had experienced, so far at least.

“Now can we get our asses back to the apartment, the stir-fry isn’t going to cook itself.” Nat smirked, grabbing Wanda’s hand in her own again and they both practically jogged up the final flight, giggling like drunk teenagers as they reached the front door.

“Can I just say, I know this thing only been going…24 hours really, but I really like you Wanda, you make me smile.” The redhead grinned as she began to turn the key in the lock.

“I like you too, just a little bit though, I’m not an obsessive stalker don’t worry.” She joked.

“Wouldn’t mind if you were.” Nat replied, hooking her arm around Wanda’s hip and kissing her cheek as they practically stumbled through the doorway. Both of their smiles faltering as they saw who sat in the armchair of the living room.

“Hello Wanda.”


	16. walk right back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter sorry :( promise they'll get longer soon x

“Vis.” Wanda replied, her voice faltering a little.

“How the fuck did you get in here?” Natasha had immediately moved to stand in front of Wanda, holding her hand tighter than ever.

“I let him in.”

Both women turned their heads to see Bucky standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a stone-cold look on his face as he held his arms across his chest.

“Bucky what the fuck were you thinking? He can’t be here.” Nat spat back, Wanda couldn’t see her face but she knew she was staring daggers at both men.

“It’s okay. I wanted to see him anyway.” The redhead turned to see Wanda behind her looking no longer fazed by his presence, instead she had begun to move closer to Vis, even sitting on the couch across from him.

“Wanda, you don’t have to do this. We can make him leave.” Nat gently touched her shoulder as she stood behind the couch, not taking her eyes off of the sandy-haired man in the armchair.

“I never took you for a cheater Wanda.” He said, his eyes cold and emotionless.

“Its not cheating if your husband beats you.” Nat interjected.

“Natasha can you just let me do this?” Wanda said, turning her head to look at the other woman, who understood and stayed quiet.

“She’s pretty, a bit feisty though, I didn’t know that was your type.”

“You don’t know me though, not really.”

“I think perhaps you’re right.”

Wanda let her lips curl into a small smile, in the corner of her eye she could see Bucky shoot Nat a confused look. He was an idiot if he thought that after seven years of marriage she wouldn’t have a soft spot.

“You’re not coming back this time.” His eyes fell to the ground before he twiddled his thumbs and raised them to look at her again.

“I don’t think so, no.”

“I came here to get you to come back home, but it seems as if I wasn’t quick enough…apparently 24 hours is all it takes to end a marriage.” He shot a quick glance to the redhead standing behind her.

“I knew you’d come. I need to talk to you about something.” She reached over the arm of the sofa and set her hand on the one he had sitting on the arm of the chair.

“What’s on your mind”

“Vis…I want a divorce.”

The room was still, it was as if people were scared to breath in case something went wrong. The words had come to a shock of course, even to Wanda, who wasn’t even thinking of saying anything for another month – at least until she was sure. Nat’s hand had instinctively tightened on Wanda’s shoulder, Bucky had choked on his glass of water, Vis…well Vis just sat, his hand did flinch a little under Wanda’s, but other than that he didn’t move, not until he spoke.

“That’s fair.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

After a few awkward moments, Vis stood up and said he should leave, Wanda got up to let him out as she assured Nat she would survive saying goodbye without her.

“Well, goodbye then Wanda.” He said, taking one last scan up and down of her.

“I love you.” She replied, her eyes slightly damp for a strange reason she couldn’t put her finger on.

“I love you too.”

Slowly, both of them moved in for a hug, Wanda wrapping her arms under Vis’ the way they always did, Vis’ hanging onto her shoulders as he gently stroked her hair the way they always did. Wanda took in one last inhale of his cologne, the one she had bought him for the birthday she spent with him (he had continued to buy the same one their entire relationship). Wanda said goodbye in her mind. Not a ‘goodbye, see you soon’, but a ‘goodbye forever, I will miss you more than anything’ as she buried her face in the security of his coat.

-

“I’m so proud of you darling.” Nat said, embracing her the minute she came back in through the front door.

“Yeah me too, where the fuck did that come from though?” Bucky pulled her into their own hug the moment Natasha had let go of her.

“I don’t know, it just felt…right.”

It did feel right, when she had re-entered the apartment she felt lighter than before, as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was going to divorce him, he wouldn’t be her husband anymore, she didn’t have to stay with him anymore.

Then why did her heart ache?

“I think the real question is, why the fuck did you let him in the apartment? More importantly, how come you didn’t beat the shit out of him before we got home?” Nat turned to Bucky.

“He turned up. Said he needed to talk to Wanda. Of course, I said no way, but he just didn’t fuck off. Stood outside the door for an hour until I finally let him in, you guys turned up a few minutes later. As for the ‘not beating the shit out of him’ bit, I stayed in the kitchen where I didn’t have to look at him.” He admitted, a sorry look on his face as he looked only at Wanda.

“I forgive you.” The brunette replied, lacing her fingers in the redheads.

“So, you guys are…” Bucky pointed at the intertwined hands.

“We’re not labelling right now.” Nat said, looking at Wanda.

“Yeah, it did only start yesterday.” Wanda replied, looking back at Natasha and grinning.

-

It had been a long day, both Natasha and Wanda were exhausted, so after dinner they both said goodnight to Bucky and retired to bed, Barnes waiting up to see Steve when he came home from work. The women both grateful to finally be have a moment to talk about what had happened in the living room just hours ago.

“Did you plan to?” Nat murmured against Wanda’s shoulder as she lay holding onto her.

“No, it just sort of…happened I guess. It was time to end it for real.” She whispered, holding onto the hand at the end of the arm Natasha had wrapped around her waist.

“What changed?”

“You. Because of you I had a reason to leave.” Wanda kissed the redhead’s hand, closing her eyes.

Natasha didn’t reply, she just pulled Wanda closer to her and shut her own eyes, both woman yearning to stay in that moment forever as they fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i really had y'all shittin at the end of last chapter ahahhahahahah


	17. the light is coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LiFe iS gOoD yAy!!!!!

Months past, Wanda slowly began to bring her things from Vis’ apartment to Nat’s, the pair would basically be living together if it wasn’t for Steve (and the occasional Bucky). It was good, Wanda hadn’t been this content for a long time, longer than she could remember. She didn’t have nightmares as often anymore, and when she did Natasha was always there next to her. She began to buy new clothes, throwing out the ones Vis had bought her when they were together and replacing them with colourful t-shirts, bright yellow hair bands and dungarees with flowers embroidered on the right leg – they were her favourite – as well as the new pair of trainers Steve had bought her that had a tiny sunflower on the ankle. She had even cut her hair, one day she woke up and wandered down to the hairdressers and had it chopped into a blunt bob that just hit her shoulders.

Wanda had read somewhere that many people going through or recovering from a trauma often do something dramatic with their hair to show a change. Showing the world that they’ve cut off not only their hair, but all the problems from before they chose to become a new person.

She certainly felt like a new person without all that extra weight hanging from her head.

Now though, her and Natasha had become known as the ‘bob bros’ because of Nat’s curly auburn locks, Wanda didn’t mind though, it just made them look even cuter in photos.

On whim, she had also gotten her helix pierced, adopted a cat with Nat called ‘Witch’ (because her fur was so silky and black like witches’ cats in the olden days), started painting at an art class with Peter like she used to, even started going to the gym with Steve. Wanda had begun to live the life she had planned to live while she was in college, before she’d gotten married and was forced to do nothing all day.

Out of all of her friends, she’d probably spent the most time with Tony Stark. He was a divorce lawyer, the lawyer she had chosen to represent her in her separation from Vis. They had spent many hours in Tony’s penthouse going over documents and statements while enjoying a Chinese takeaway before going to his inventing studio, Tony letting Wanda try out his new ‘toys’.

“Right, if you click that button right there, it’ll bring the ball to you okay? Don’t press the other button or it’ll shoot it out the window.” He told her, pulling the glove onto her hand.

“Calm down Stark, I won’t blow up your damn bachelor pad.” She smirked, lifting the red glove on her left hand towards the bouncy ball they bought at the 99-cent store.

Holding the remote in her right hand, once she was sure she had aimed it correctly, she pressed the button and suddenly, without her even realising, the rubber ball was in her hand.

“Wow.” She whispered, looking at the ball that had magically shot towards her hand.

“It’s just a prototype, it still has a long way to go.” He smirked, taking the glove off of her hand and placing it back on the stand.

“Why do you waste your time being a lawyer when you could make so much more money if you sell some of these?”

“I like being a lawyer, I make a shit ton of cash already why would I need more?”

“But divorce lawyers are the most depressing kind of lawyer, you literally make money from love being destroyed.”

“I get to pick up cute divorced guys though.”

-

Four months after she left Vis for good, Wanda lay in bed with her head on Natasha’s chest as she looked out on the city at night, the windows from the buildings marking out a checkboard in the skyline. The scent of the cinnamon candle filling the room as the two women lay on the silk sheets of Nat’s bed.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Nat murmured, her fingers lazily running through Wanda’s hair.

“I’m not sure. I haven’t really seen Vis since I filed for the divorce.” She replied.

“I know, but it’s your first day in court…are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“No, I just want it to be me and him.”

They lay in silence for a while, neither one knowing quite what to say before they heard the apartments front door open and the sound of a very drunk Bucky and Steve crash through the living room into Steve’s bedroom across the hallway.

“Sounds like they had fun.” Wanda smiled, remembering the time in high school when her and Bucky had gotten drunk in a park and ended up singing ‘Don’t stop Believing’ at a karaoke bar in Little Italy.

“I’m so sick of sharing an apartment with those idiots.” Nat sighed, her fingers still intertwining in Wanda’s bob.

“It is a bit crowded sometimes.”

There was a pause.

“Move in with me.” Nat said, Wanda could hear Natasha’s heartbeat pick up a little.

“I already basically live with you.” She replied, her eyes fixed on the city outside.

“I mean in a new place, somewhere for just the two of us.”

Wanda sat up, forcing Nat’s fingers to de-tangle from her hair as she looked up at the brunettes shocked wide eyes, a grin starting to form at the corners of her mouth.

“Do you mean that?” Wanda whispered, searching Natasha’s eyes for any sign of hesitation.

“Of course, I do, I want to live with you properly, no chaotic gays staying just meters away across the hall. But if you don’t-“

In that moment, Wanda couldn’t help herself, she suddenly put her lips against Natasha’s, desperate for her to shut up before she changed her mind. When she pulled away, she felt Nat’s hand cup her cheek and saw the redhead smile up at her.

“Is that a yes?”

“That’s a yes.”

 


	18. nothing has to be true

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh boy...the next chapter I'm-

“And what are the grounds on which you would like to divorce from your husband, Mrs Maximoff?”

That was certainly a loaded question. Her eyes flickered over the table to Vis who was sitting opposite, his eyes doing the same towards her. What did she say? Did she tell the truth and make things a whole lot more complicated? Or did she lie and bury everything that happened and never truly get justice?

Wanda turned her head to Tony who sat next to her, she wasn’t sure why, maybe just for the emotional support of having a friend…maybe she should’ve asked Natasha to come after all.

Tony gave her a small nod, as if to say ‘you do what you think is right’.

“I would like a divorce on the basis of…domestic abuse.”

-

Wanda didn’t have much of a biological family. Her parents had died in a shopping centre bombing, leaving her and her brother Pietro to fend for themselves at the young age of 15. Luckily, social services never found out that they were living home alone and they were able to get by just the two of them until Wanda got a scholarship for college when she was 18 and left home. From there she met Vis, fell in love and the next year they were married, sadly, the last time she ever saw her brother was only two weeks before her wedding.

She had flown home, desperate to surprise him with the news of her engagement, sure he was going to scoop her into a huge hug and almost cry with joy when she asked him to give her away.

No such thing happened.

Instead he questioned her, interrogating her into telling him what she was thinking getting married at 18 after only knowing the man for a year while she sobbed and tried to explain that it _just felt right_. When she begged him to come to the wedding, he said that he would do no such thing and gave her an ultimatum, marry Vis or keep contact with her brother.

In hindsight, she made the wrong choice.

She hadn’t spoken to Pietro since, didn’t know where he lived, didn’t know if he had a family or not, didn’t know if the number in her phone was even the right one, but the night she returned from her first day in divorce court she stood out on the balcony and pulled out her phone.

Pulling up his contact information, she battled in her mind with the idea of calling him. He was right as always of course, about her marriage, he knew it wouldn’t last and he knew she’d come crawling back when it didn’t.

Would he even care anymore?

She didn’t.

Pressing the ‘call’ button, she lifted the phone to the side of her head, waiting for an answer she wasn’t sure would come while the ringing noise violated her ears.

“Hello?”

Instantly she let out a breath she had been holding for god knows how long, her shoulders sagging a little as she heard the familiar voice on the other end of the line.

“Hey…Pietro it’s me…Wanda.” She choked out, her throat closing up as her eyes began to well up.

“Wanda? Oh my god.” His voice changed instantly from the voice he used for small talk to the voice of the big brother who would comfort her during the nights she would cry for their parents.

“I’m sorry…that I haven’t called, stuff’s just been-“

“Are you okay? What happened?”

She smiled, he always did know when she was sad.

“It’s kinda a long story P.”

“I’ve got all night.”

“Well…I’m getting a divorce, I guess that’s the biggest thing right now.” She could feel a tear roll down her cheek but she didn’t move her hand to wipe it away, she just let it fall.

“I’m sorry, that’s…that’s really shit.” She heard him sigh on the other end of the phone.

“You should be celebrating, you were right all along…it was stupid to marry him so fast.”

“Still, you don’t deserve to be in pain, do you want me to come and stay with you for a while? Be the nurturing big brother I am?” She could hear the smirk at the end of his words and smiled back, as if he could see her.

“You’re only 12 minutes older than me P, don’t get cocky.”

“Seriously though, I don’t want you to be alone.”

“I’m not alone, I actually…I have a girlfriend now.” She beamed, remembering that Nat got off of work in just half an hour.

“My sister the player! Not even divorced yet and she’d already moved on.” He laughed against the speaker, making Wanda giggle along with him.

It felt like old times.

“You can come down for a visit though, if you wanted to.”

“I’d love to.”

-

“I didn’t know you had a brother?” Nat said over dinner later that night as she stabbed her fork through another square of ravioli.

“We haven’t talked since I got married, and he’s only staying for a few days so it won’t be a big deal.”

“Does he know why you and Vis are getting a divorce?” She replied, looking up from her bowl to give Wanda her ‘concerned girlfriend’ eyes.

“No, it’s not really something I can tell him over the phone…he knows about you though, he’s excited to meet you.”

Nat smirked, mumbling a ‘I’m sure he is’ into her pasta before she reached her hand out to take the girl across the tables in her own, lightly grazing her thumb across the brunette knuckles.

“I found a protentional apartment by the way, it’s about four blocks away, two floors, I think you’ll like it.” The redhead said as she finished her last bite.

“Really? Sounds expensive though, are you sure we can afford it? I mean, even after I get my divorce settlement we’re still pretty poor.” Wanda smiled, for all she cared they could live in a shack in the woods and she wouldn’t care.

“It’s a tiny bit out of budget, but it’s so beautiful Wanda honestly you have to come see it with me on Wednesday you’ll fall in love with it.”

“I don’t care, as long as it’s with you.”

“You’re such a sop.” Nat smiled as she leaned over, kissing Wanda over the tiny kitchen table.


	19. the day before you came

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahah

Nat was right when she said Wanda would fall in love with the apartment. The moment she walked through the front door she was ready to run home, grab her stuff, and move in.

It was very open, which she liked a lot. Her and Vis’ apartment had all separate rooms and it made her feel extremely claustrophobic during the long weeks he kept her inside. To see the living room flow into the kitchen and even a dining space, all in the same space – her heart sang.

It was a very typical modern apartment, exposed brick, white fixtures, it looked like it belonged in a catalogue. Certainly not somewhere Wanda could afford any time soon.

On the far side of the loft space, there was a beautiful spiral staircase up to a landing that hovered just above the kitchen (Wanda gathered that’s where they would sleep), and as she stood against the railing looking over the apartment she felt Nat move next to her and link their fingers.

“Don’t you love it?”

“Natasha…it’s perfect.”

“Then why do you look so sad?” She gave her hand a squeeze, turning so that her back was against the railing, looking at Wanda.

“There’s no way in hell we can afford this Nat.”

“We can find a way, if you really want it.”

Wanda paused, she couldn’t take her eyes off the red brick wall, she had always wanted an exposed wall…Vis said they made the home look ugly so they never had one.

“I never got to pick the last apartment, Vis said exposed brick was ugly.” Wanda mumbled, remembering the arguments about petty things like paint colours.

“I wanted a colourful apartment, he had the walls painted white.” She finished with a sigh.

“My love, Vis isn’t here anymore. Once your divorce is finalised you’ll never have to see that…well you’ll never have to see _him_ again. If you want brick walls and a bright yellow kitchen that’s what we’re doing!” Nat watched as her girlfriends mouth began to twitch, slowly becoming a large grin. God, it warmed Natasha Romanoff’s heart to see her so happy.

“Alright. Let’s do it. Let’s buy it.”

“I can’t wait.” And with that, Nat kissed her cheek.

-

The airport was busy, as busy as Wanda expected when Pietro told her that his flight landed at 6pm on a Friday. She waited at the arrivals gate, too nervous to even hold Nat’s hand for support, her mind shouting all sorts of thoughts at her _, what if he hates you now? What if he doesn’t forgive you? What if he sees you and leaves?_

Suddenly a wave of people came crashing through the gate, obviously just finished at passport control, she waited, watching for the familiar face she had missed for years.

But he wasn’t in the crowd.

“Don’t worry darling, he’s probably still in there waiting for his bag.” Nat said to her, gently rubbing the brunette’s shoulders as she anxiously watched anyone and everyone who came through the archway.

An hour past, Wanda not moving from the spot where she swore she had grown roots into the ground to prevent her from moving. Natasha sitting in one of the seats about three meters away, watching Wanda as her heart broke for her, after another half hour she decided enough was enough and walked over to her before tapping her gently on the shoulder.

“Wanda, it’s been almost two hours we should go.”

“No, we can’t go because if he comes and we’re not here he’ll hate me.” Nat could feel her shaking she was holding her arms to her chest so tensely.

“Darling…it’s almost dark outside.” Nat wrapped her arms around the brunette from behind, squeezing her as she felt Wanda deflate a little in her embrace.

“He’s not coming, is he?”

“I don’t think so sweetheart.”

For a moment, Wanda didn’t really respond, until Nat felt the shakes from before turn into sobs and she just held her tighter, kissing her shoulder through her t-shirt.

-

“That bastard! I’ll kill him.” Bucky shouted, throwing the Indian they had ordered in for Pietro into the trash, it was cold by now anyway.

“Buck…now probably isn’t the time.” Steve muttered as the two men watched Wanda sit emotionless on the sofa after Nat had put her there before coming over and quietly explained the situation to them.

“Yeah Bucky she’s had a long day, calm down with the death threats on her brother.” Nat stood beside them in the kitchen, nibbling at the end of her fingers (a bad anxious habit she had picked up during high school).

“He had no right to do that to her! No right whatsoever.” He gave the bin an extra kick for good measure.

“She did look really excited today, to see him I mean.” Steve added, watching Wanda as her eyes stayed fixed to the TV screen – it wasn’t even turned on.

“Exactly! She was so fucking excited to see him and he what? Decided to stay home and crush her heart? Does he even know the kind of shit she’d been going through? Calls himself a brother.” Nat was sure she could see steam rising from Bucky’s head as he paced the tiny kitchen.

“No, he doesn’t know. He only knows she’s getting divorced from Vis, he doesn’t know what he did.” Nat spat as she tore her hand away from her mouth and set to work making a pit of tea to take to Wanda.

“I will kill him. I will. Hurting her like this…” Bucky mumbled, sitting himself at the kitchen table and running his hands through his hair.

“Get in line.” Nat said, staring at her reflection in the tea pot.

-

“I’ve called him four times, he hasn’t answered yet.” Wanda mumbled as she sipped her tea on the couch with Natasha, her eyes still as vacant as before.

“I’m sure he had a reason darling, he wouldn’t just not show up without telling you why.”

“Maybe he didn’t want to see me. Maybe he changed his mind and now he has to think of an excuse to text me.” She took another sip, the scalding liquid not bothering her as it ran down her throat.

Natasha didn’t answer, instead she took the mug from Wanda and set it on the coffee table before pulling the girl down to lie on her chest, stroking her short brown hair and reassuring her that it was all going to be fine in time, Wanda just had to be patient.

-

It wasn’t until 1:24am until they got the call.

Nat woke up to the buzzing of Wanda’s phone on the other side of the bed, sensing that the other girl wasn’t going to stir at the incessant sound, Natasha reached across her sleeping self and grabbed her phone, an unknown number lighting up the screen. She hesitated for a moment before picking up.

“Hello?”

“Err, hello is this Wanda?” A muffled voice from the other end of the line replied.

“This is her girlfriend; can I ask why you’re calling this late?”

“I’m Lauren…I’m…I’m Pietro’s wife and I really need to speak to Wanda if she’s there. Is she there?” The woman paused between words as if to stop her voice from breaking over the phone.

_Pietro’s wife?_

“She’s actually not here just now, I can pass a message on though if it’s important.” Nat was sitting up in bed now, whispering as not to wake up Wanda.

“Um, well there’s…there’s been an accident, she needs to get here…right away if she can. He wants to see her…before he…” Nat heard the other woman let out a sob before she hung up the phone, leaving the redhead sitting there in bed, looking at her sleeping girlfriend, dreading waking her and breaking up her world.


	20. silhouette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "when will you stop hurting wanda?" i hear you say  
> "never", i reply

They drove through the night, well, Natasha drove while Wanda sat curled up in the passenger seat, holding her knees to her chest as the other cars sped past illuminating her tear-soaked face.

The closest flight wasn’t till the afternoon and sensing Wanda wouldn’t last that long without answers, Natasha packed a bag for the two of them and set off on the seven-hour drive to the hospital closest to Pietro. No music was played, no conversation made, silence.

Natasha’s eyes were burning, the lack of sleep beginning to affect her as the sun began to rise in front of her. She was desperate for a break, to stop and stretch her legs, let Wanda drive for a while, but she knew that if Wanda got behind the wheel in the state she was in they would end up next to Pietro in the hospital.

In her heart, she knew that they probably wouldn’t make it in time for Wanda to say goodbye, she knew that he had probably died an hour or two after his wife called. Not that she could say any of this to Wanda, if only she couldn’t turn back time and let her say goodbye on the phone when she had the chance.

“Darling we’re about ten minutes away, are you awake?” Natasha asked eventually after six and a half hours of quiet.

“I wish I wasn’t.” She heard her mutter to herself, taking one hand off the wheel she placed it on the ankle Wanda had tucked under one of her legs.

“It’ll be alright I promise, I’ll be there the whole time.” She rubbed her thumb against the girl’s smooth skin, Nat thought of Wanda as a girl in these moments, the times she looked this small.

“I left my phone.”

“What?”

“I left my phone at home, I don’t even know if he’s called.” Wanda shifted, moving her leg away from Natasha’s touch, placing her feet on the ground as Nat pulled into the carpark.

The car had hardly come to a halt before Wanda had jumped out, Natasha having to run to catch up with her as she saw the brunette run through corridors, up and dwon stairs and along landings until she finally found the waiting room she had been looking for.

It was pretty empty, an old man on one side, a tired looking woman sitting in a corner by a lamp staring off into space.

Natasha guessed Pietro’s wife wasn’t the old man.

“You must be Wanda.” The woman said, standing up from her seat, not stretching a hand out or moving to embrace Wanda, just standing with her arms hanging by her sides.

“I didn’t know my brother was married.” Wanda replied bluntly, holding her arms close to her chest, clearly not wanting to make any physical contact with “Lauren” either.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about him.”

“Is this really important right now.” Natasha interjected, receiving a glare from both women.

“Where is he? Can I see him?” Wanda’s eyes returned to the frantic state they had been in when Nat had first woken her that morning.

And that’s when Natasha’s one fear came true.

-

The funeral wasn’t long after, only five days between the day in the hospital and the day at the cemetery. They didn’t go home, they just bought new black dresses and shoes the day before they went to the church. Both Wanda and Pietro were brought up Catholic, and while neither of them practised it after their parents died, Wanda insisted her brother had a Catholic funeral, despite his wife’s wishes.

Wanda cried for hours when she found out that Lauren hadn’t brought in a priest to administer Holy Communion for Pietro. She hadn’t even allowed what organs remained in tact to be donated, he wasn’t registered as a donor so the hospital let her decided, this angered Wanda greatly, making her curse out in the middle of the hospital.

Pietro had been declared brain dead just two hours before they had made it to the hospital, his wife hadn’t even waited to let Wanda say goodbye before she had them take away his body.

Nat noticed the changes in her of course, she had become the same person she was when she was with Vis, dull and lifeless. Wanda had lost her glow again, she no longer lit up the room and she didn’t smile anymore. Natasha missed her smile the most, the way her face would beam and her eyes would crinkle a little at the edges, it was that smile that Nat first fell in love with, and now it was gone.

They didn’t stay with Lauren, Nat didn’t think it would be a good idea to have the two grieving women staying in the same house, so she booked herself and Wanda into a hotel a few blocks away. Wanda stayed in bed a lot, crying or just staring at the closed curtains while Natasha tried to coax her into eating and drinking. The night before the funeral, she ran Wanda a bath and washed her greasy brown hair until it was soft and fluffy again, scrubbing Wanda’s skin until all the weeks’ worth of dirt was gone while the other woman just sat there staring at the bubbles until they had all disappeared.

“I miss him. I just got him back and…now he’s gone.” The brunette muttered to herself after the last of the suds had been rinsed off of her body.

Natasha didn’t reply, she just planted a kiss on her damp forehead.

-

“This I know: that my Avenger lives.

Job said: ‘Ah, would that these words of mine were written down,

inscribed on some monument with iron chisel and engraving tool,

 cut into the rock for ever.

This I know: that my Avenger lives,

and he, the last, will take his stand on earth.

After my awaking, he will set me close to him,

and from my flesh I shall look on God.

He whom I shall see will take my part: these eyes will gaze on him and find him not aloof.”

That was the passage the Priest read as they lowered Pietro’s coffin into the ground. Wanda and Lauren standing on either side of the grave. Wanda’s hand desperately clutched onto Nat’s almost to stop herself from jumping into the pit after him.

The wake happened back at Pietro’s house, well, Pietro and Lauren’s house. A group of about twenty standing around the living room talking in hushed voices, reminiscing with strangers about a man none of them knew, not really, not like Wanda knew him.

“Would you like another drink? I’m sure there’s at least one bottle you haven’t drank.” Lauren said to Wanda after everyone had left that night, gritting her teeth into a smile as she attempted to be a kind and caring hostess.

Wanda was drunk. It was obvious by the way she sat sort of slumped on the couch, clutching her glass of red to her chest like a life line while Nat sat next to her, expect the redhead was only on her third glass compared to Wanda’s sixth.

“She’s fine, thank you Lauren.” She spoke on behalf of Wanda, scared of the verbal riot that could follow if the two women began to argue.

Her efforts were in vain however, as Wanda clumsily stood up, shoving her wine glass into Natasha’s hands as she came face to face with her sister in law.

“Fuck you.” She said bluntly, emotionlessly, cold.

“Wanda.” Nat warned, standing up herself, prepared to step in.

“Don’t you fucking speak to me like that.” Lauren replied with just as much spite as Wanda.

“I don’t know how you sleep at night, knowing how you’ve treated me. Ever since I got here you’ve treated me like shit. Utter shit.”

“Don’t act all high and mighty like you haven’t been a bitch yourself! I am grieving for my fucking husband and all you care about is yourself!”

“You didn’t even know him well enough to know he would’ve wanted a Catholic funeral you gold-digging skank.” Wanda yelled, laughing to herself the way a drunk person laughs at a funeral.

“You hadn’t spoken to him in years! How would you know what he would’ve wanted!” Natasha swore she could see fire behind the blonde woman’s eyes.

“How could you do it?” Wanda’s once loud and angry voice resorted to a whisper as Natasha could see the tears begin to well in her eyes.

“How could you unplug him without letting me say goodbye?” the brunettes face crumpled, her shoulder shaking as she pleaded with the woman in front of her.

“You could’ve waited…You could’ve waited until I got there before you _killed_ him. You could’ve let me say goodbye.”

She sunk to her knees, her whole-body convulsing with sobs as she struggled to breath, her heart breaking inside her chest, managing to only say one more thing:

“He was my brother.”


	21. somewhere only we know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is kind of an irrelevant chapter sorry bros i just thought you deserved some fluff after all that SHIT  
> also pro tip- listen to Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers for the full experience ;)

_Grief is a terrible thing._

_At only 25 I have already lost my entire family to death. When you’re young, you think you’ll have ages with your mom and dad – I had 15 years. Then, you think you and your siblings will grow old together, I lost my brother last month._

_Life is a terrible thing._

_I don’t know how I’ve lasted so long on this Earth, but at the same time, it feels like I’ve hardly been here at all. I feel so broken and drained tonight, most of all though I feel so incredibly lonely. Realistically, no I am not lonely, Bucky has barely left my side since we got home from the funeral, Steve makes me go outside and walks with me just so I can get out the house for half an hour, and Natasha…oh my god Natasha has been…I hope I don’t jinx anything by telling this journal that I think I’m beginning to fall in love with her._

_I feel bad for only writing sad things in this journal. Natasha bought me it to be kind and all I’ve done so far is write about how much I want to_

“You coming in soon?”

Wanda quickly shut her journal, unable to finish transferring the thought in her head to paper as she flashed a smile at Natasha.

-

They were quick to move into their new apartment, Natasha was losing patience by having to share a bathroom with the boys as well as Wanda, Wanda desperate to spend the morning in bed without Bucky jumping in next to her to bitch about something or other (pushing Nat out of her own bed).

It was sad, saying goodbye to Steve and Bucky. Wanda knew she would see them all the time – especially Bucky – but once you stop living with a person, you miss all the little things, even the ones that annoyed you the most. The two men had helped them move all their things into the new loft, Natasha having considerably more stuff than Wanda, and carried the heavy things up the stairwell, complaining all the way that the new apartment was at the top of seven flights.

Steve was to Nat what Bucky was to Wanda – a platonic soulmate. Natasha wasn’t an emotional person just like Bucky, Wanda was overly emotional like Steve, the thing all four of them could agree on was that they would certainly miss living with each other.

“Take care of yourself Maximoff.” Steve said, bending down to give her a hug. She loved hugging Steve, the security of it all.

“Yeah, what he said.” Bucky said as the two friends pulled apart, holding his arms out to Wanda, making the woman smile and gladly move into his embrace. He felt like home, like everything was going to be okay as long as they just _stayed_ there forever.

“I love you. So much.” She whispered, clutching onto him.

“Don’t be so hetro.” He mumbled into her ear, pecking her cheek as he pulled away, giving her a smirk and a wink to say “I love you too” in the unique Bucky Barnes way.

-

Wanda’s first dance at her wedding was to “Your Song” by Elton John. She loved to dance, and when Vis pulled her up in front all everyone she couldn’t help but allow her heart to leap in her chest because this was _it._ This was the first dance of her marriage, the first dance of the rest of her life with the man she loved with all she had in her.

After that, Vis didn’t dance with her anymore. Not at all. There were times at parties when she would try and pull him up to dance with her, but he just scolded her under his breath, making her sit down for the rest of the night.

Long after Bucky and Steve had left, Wanda sat on their new sofa going through her boxes while Nat put away the kitchen things a few meters from her, music playing quietly in the background. Most of her things were still at Vis’ but she had been able to take a few things while he had been out one day. Little things like photos, clothes and a few toiletries.

At the bottom of one of the boxes she saw a photo in a golden frame, picking it up out of the cardboard she looked to see it was a picture of her and Vis during their first dance. A huge grin plastered on her husbands face as she beamed up at him, she saw Bucky, Tony and Peter sitting together in the background, all three of them smiling as Bucky cheered. She remembered this, she remembered laughing so much she almost tripped on the long skirt of her dress and fell on Vis while they waltzed.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss it.

“What’s that?” She heard Nat say as she came over to sit on the arm of the sofa.

“Nothing, it’s stupid I should’ve gotten rid of it ages ago.” Her brain told her arms to put down the frame, only for it to stay securely grasped onto by her hands.

“Is that your wedding? You look…really beautiful.”

“It was a beautiful day.”

In the background, Unchained Melody came on, making Wanda sigh to herself and put the picture back in the box where it had come from.

“What is it?”

“Vis never let me dance after the wedding.”

Nat paused for a moment before standing, exdending a hand ans saying:

“Dance with me.”

“Natasha…I’m really not in the mood.” She hesitated.

“It was an order, not a question.” Nat’s voice was soft despite the sternness of her words, after another moment Wanda placed her hand in Natasha’s and was being dragged into the middle of the living room floor.

_Oh, my love, my darling_

_I've hungered, for your touch_

“This is stupid.” Wanda muttered to herself as she felt Nat’s arm warp around her waist and pull them closer together. Placing her own hand on the redhead’s shoulder, it didn’t stay there for long as it began to travel up into the auburn locks and entangle its fingers.

_A long, lonely time_

_Time goes by so slowly_

_And time can do so much_

“It’s not stupid, I’m being romantic.” She murmured in return, their faces so close their noses almost touched as Natasha began to sway Wanda side-to-side gently, keeping her close.

_Are you still mine?_

_I need your love_

_I need your love_

_God speed your love to me_

“Can I be honest for a moment?” Wanda said as the ghost of a smile began to form on her face.

“Always.” She could feel Nat’s thumb rub on the small of her back as they began to step in a small circle – she was sure this couldn’t be called dancing really.

“I…I think I’m in love with you.” She breathed, her heart pumping faster than it ever had when she first told Vis she loved him.

Nat’s face flickered a little, Wanda was unable to determine her emotions until she broke out into a wide smile.

_Lonely mountains gaze_

_At the stars, at the stars_

“I think I’m in love with you too…idiot.”

_Waiting for the dawn of the day_

_All alone I gaze_

_At the stars, at the stars_

_Dreaming of my love far away_


	22. two ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay but this is one of my favourite chapters I've ever written of anything (did that sentence even make sense? idk it's late)  
> enjoy!

Wanda had left her phone at home when her and Natasha had rushed to try and reach Pietro that night. When they returned a week later, Wanda had seen that she had a voicemail from Pietro, two months after his death she still hadn’t listened to it – scared to hear his voice again in case she just shut down completely.

The thing was, exactly two months to the day after his death it was Pietro and Wanda’s 26th birthday. Wanda’s first birthday with a dead brother.

“Wakey Wakey birthday girl!”

Wanda’s eyes fluttered open to see a grinning Natasha sitting above her holding a cupcake on a plate, the woman’s auburn bedhead making her hair go wild around her face as she shuffled even closer to a now sitting up Wanda.

“What’s this?”

“Well I knew you wouldn’t want a big deal around your birthday, so I didn’t even get you a big cake, I thought you’d prefer a cupcake. It’s chocolate – your favourite!” For someone who looked so tired, Nat certainly had a lot of energy.

“Thank you.” Wanda said, using her hand to pull Natasha’s lips to her own, waiting a moment after they pulled apart while Natasha pulled a lighter out of her pyjama pocket and lit the tiny candle.

“Make a wish!”

_For things to never change, to stay here, in the bed with Natasha forever._

She gently blew out the flame, smiling as she scraped some icing off the cake with her finger and tasting it.

“I made it myself.” Nat showed a rare blush in her cheeks.

“It’s delicious.”

-

It was a very relaxed birthday, Natasha insisting they both keep their pj’s on as she carried their duvet through to living room and dumped it on the couch. They were lucky is was a Saturday so Nat didn’t have to go to work, then again, Wanda was sure she would’ve stayed off anyway.

They sat on opposite ends of the couch, leaning their legs on each other under the cover as they argued over what movies to watch, Natasha appalled from the lack of films Wanda had actually watched.

“You’ve never seen Forrest Gump? Are you serious?”

“Vis didn’t like Tom Hanks okay! It wasn’t my fault!”

“You had 17 years to watch it before Vis came along!”

Natasha’s over-exaggerated expression of shock made Wanda laugh, Natasha jokingly hitting her leg and saying “It’s a serious problem!” and “You’ve been robbed of a classic” before jumping up and turning the tv on – forcing Wanda to sit and watch.

-

Bucky and Steve came over in the evening, after Wanda and Nat were dressed of course, they were closely followed by Tony and Peter, both parties brought a bottle of wine as well as their birthday gifts.

Peter gave Wanda a new acrylic paint set because she had been complaining about them running out whenever they went to the art class together – they were fancy paints as well, the types professionals used. Steve got her a framed picture of Bucky and them when they had gone on a spontaneous trip to the zoo one day while Nat was at work, Wanda traced her grinning face with her fingers as she noticed the head of a giraffe popping up in the background. Steve apologised that it wasn’t big or expensive, but Wanda assured him that it was perfect, placing on the coffee table for the moment – planning to move it through to her bedside table where she could see it every morning and be reminded that she had friends who cared.

Tony was next, surprising her with concert tickets for the whole group as Wanda scolded him for spending so much on her – only for him to reply that he had “boat-loads of cash sweetheart” and that it was “his pleasure” before kissing her on the forehead the way he always did, patting her on the back the way he always did, she loved him dearly.

“Now you know moneys a bit err…tight for me just now so I couldn’t get you anything too pricey.” Bucky said, shooting a joking glare at Tony, who only raised his glass of wine and winked.

“Bucky, honestly you didn’t have to get me anything.” She said as she sat on the sofa next to him, Nat behind her on the arm of the couch unaware that she was playing with hair as she watched on.

He passed her a small pale blue jewellery box, it was light in her hand and she opened it to see that instead of the small set of earrings she was expecting, a silver locket sat on the cushion. Lifting it out by the delicate chain, she saw it was shaped into a heart with a “ _P_ ” engraved on the metal.

“Bucky I don’t-“

“Open it.”

Gently unclipping the tiny clasp on the side, she saw that it had a picture inside. A photograph she noticed almost instantly.

It was a picture of her and Pietro in a sandpit when they were children. Wanda’s hair so long it was past her elbows as she sat next to a chubby looking Pietro, they were only about six years old. Wanda remembered her mother pulling out the camera and taking it because a few seconds after she threw sand into her brothers’ eyes and was made to sit on the naughty step until dinner.

 “I hope it’s enough.”

Instantly her eyes began well up with tears and her heart felt as if it was about to burst. She let out a breath as she felt Nat’s hand on her shoulder.

“It’s more than enough…It’s perfect.”

-

After another hour (and a fair amount of drinking) Wanda was able to sneak out onto the fire escape for a few moments of peace. Lighting a cigarette and taking a deep breath while she absentmindedly fiddled with the new locket around her neck.

“I thought you said you were quitting?” She turned to see Natasha climbing through the window to join her, still holding her glass of wine.

“I am, this is my last one.” Wanda replied sarcastically.

“I’ll believe it when you never say that again.” She sat on the windowsill, watching Wanda take another draw.

“Haven’t you been wondering where my present is?” Natasha asked, giving Wanda one of her famous mischievous grins as she took a sip.

“You don’t have to get me anything ‘Tasha.” Wanda said, flicking some ash over the edge of the railing.

“Well, Bucky kinda stole my jewellery idea but…” She stood up and walked over to Wanda, pulling a small black box out of her trouser pocket, flipping it open to reveal a thin silver band sitting comfortably on a velvet cushion.

“Natasha! Oh my god.” Wanda choked on her cigarette, spluttering as she watched the smirk on her girlfriend’s face.

“Don’t shit yourself, it’s only a promise ring.” Nat laughed as Wanda struggled to regain her breath, crushing her cigarette on the railing as she struggled for breath.

“You can’t just do that to me oh my god!” Wanda choked as she pushed Nat’s arm, only making the redhead laugh more.

“I’m sorry! I couldn’t help myself!” Natasha’s lowered her voice a little before kissing Wanda’s cheek and gesturing the ring to her.

“What are we promising each other.” The redhead raised an eyebrow as a now stable Wanda lifted her hand to allow Nat to slip the band onto her right ring finger in order to stop any confusion. Wanda noticing that Natasha had already put a matching ring on her own finger.

“That you’ll love me, even when I go…dark.” Wanda said quietly, her nose brushing against Nat’s.

“I will love you even when you go dark.” Nat reassured her, pecking her forehead before looking her in the eyes again, green meeting olive.

“I just want you to promise that I have you, and you have me, and that’s all we’re going to need…I just want you.”

“I promise that I am yours and that you are mine, and I promise that I’ll always be here, no matter what, I’ll always show up for you Wanda.”

Slowly, delicately, Wanda moved her face forward just a little bit, just enough so that their lips were almost touching, just enough to make her want to grab Nat’s face in her hands and kiss her until both their lips were swollen and bruised. Restraining herself, she whispered an “I love you” before Nat become the one to close the gap, both of them tasting of wine – Wanda’s white mixing beautifully with Natasha’s red. Wanda’s hands cupping Nat’s face, holding her against her own, Natasha’s hands firmly resting on Wanda’s hip, pulling her as close as she possibly could.

Reluctantly, both women pulled apart.

“You taste like cigs, you really need to stop smoking.”

“I _promise_ I will.”

Suddenly, Wanda’s phone buzzed, making both women sigh as their moment had now been ruined. Pulling it out of her pocket, Wanda saw it was a notification telling her the voicemail from Pietro was about to be deleted if she didn’t listen to it in the next week.

“Darling, just listen to it. Then it’ll be done and out the way.” Nat said, quickly kissing her one last time before climbing back through the window to re-join the group.

_What could go wrong?_

On a whim, Wanda quickly tapped the ‘listen to voicemail’ option instantly regretting it but decided to stick with it. With a shaking hand, she placed the speaker against her ear.

“Hey! Wanda it’s me, Pietro. Well I guess you can tell by my voice but it’s just what people say in a voicemail I guess.”

The moment she heard his voice she gasped, when he said his name she let out a sob, and by the end of his first sentence she already had tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Anyway, I’m just calling to say that I’m about to leave for the airport. I’m actually sitting in my driveway right now so I better be quick cause I really don’t want to miss my flight.”

_I’d prefer if you did, at least you’d be alive._

“I’m super excited to see you again, I mean…seven years! Shit! I’m sorry…for not calling you or anything but I just…I guess I’m just too proud to let you win, but you know that, I’ve been like this since I was a kid.

“I shouldn’t stay on long, I should really wait to talk to you in a few hours but, I don’t know, if my plane crashes or I get smashed into by a semi-truck I just wanted you to know that I love you and that I’m proud of you, and that I’m glad you’re happy with this…Natasha girl.

“Saying that, not to sound like a broken record but, don’t you think you’re moving just a little fast with her? I know, I know you’re going to shout at me and go in a huff like you always do.”

_Damn right._

“But Wanda, this is exactly how it happened with Vis, I mean you’re already moving in with her and you’ve been dating her what? Seven months and you’re already moving in together? I mean it’s not the six weeks you waited before moving in with Vis but still Wanda, are you not worried you’re repeating patterns?

“This is a lot. To say over the phone, and I don’t know why you and Vis are getting divorced but…maybe moving too quickly with him was part of the build-up to whatever catalyst failed your marriage. Anyway, I love you and I’ll speak to you when I get there, maybe we could even binge Star Wars like when we were kids? That’s a dumb idea sorry.”

_I would’ve loved to._

“Love you Wanda, see you in a few hours!”

And just like that, he was gone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bet ya'll were shittin urselfs with the ring ahahahahhahah take that suckers


	23. nothings gonna hurt you baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i thought ya'll had been happy for too long :)

Wanda saved a recording of the voicemail to her phone so she could keep the sound of Pietro’s voice with her forever – even if she started to forget him. She knew people were forgotten after a while, she couldn’t remember her fathers laugh or her mothers’ scent. Bit by bit, parts of people disappear and you’re left with the empty shell of a memory, even the parts you yearn to remember are gone.

The locket Bucky had given her kept its place around her neck permanently, she only took it off to sleep and to shower for fear of choking in her sleep or the metal becoming water damaged. It was the same story with the promise ring Natasha had bought her, some nights the two women just lay and put their hands together so that they could look at them match.

Soon enough summer was over and autumn had begun. The green leaves slowly changing into vibrant yellows and reds, a chill in the air as Wanda had to start wearing gloves again because Natasha always complained that her hands were too cold to hold.

-

Her divorce was finalised on October 26th, just like the first session in court, it was only Vis and Wanda. She had even asked Tony to wait outside and Vis had said the same to his lawyer – both met with protests before both men had given in and stood outside the glass window in the hallway.

“So…this is it.” Wanda sighed as she gazed at the papers in front of her, pen next to her slightly shaking hands.

“This is it.” Vis confirmed, taking the wad of paper from the middle of the table and flicking through it one last time.

“It all looks in order.” He muttered, picking up his own pen and moving his hand to sign it, only to pause and look up at her again.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

This was a loaded question. Yes, she wanted a divorce so that she could be with Natasha without anything holding her back. Yes, she wanted a divorce because he beat her and belittled her for years. Yes, she wanted a divorce. No, she didn’t want to stop being married to him, she didn’t want to stop being his wife or say goodbye to him. He was her first love, the man who made her feel happy again for the first time in years after her parents’ death.

He was her first love. But he wasn’t her soulmate.

“Yes. This is what I want Vis.” She said with shaky breath, watching as he sighed and quickly signed his name at the bottom of the final page before passing it over to her.

“We can try again you know, I can go back to anger management, maybe even therapy if that would help you…feel safe with me again.” There was a slight desperate tone in his voice, something Wanda hadn’t heard before. He knew this was it, that he’d lost control of her for real this time, she wasn’t _his_ anymore.

“You can’t change who you are at your core Vis.” Picking up her pen, she placed the nib at the beginning of the X marked where she was to sign and end her marriage.

“It’s over then.”

In one quick movement, her name was on the page.

“It’s over.”

-

“So, I was thinking.”

“That’s never a good idea.”

“Shut up Wanda all my ideas are great ideas.”

The two women sat eating their dinner, they didn’t sit at opposite ends like most people did, instead Wanda sat at the end of the table and Nat sat in the seat to her right so that they could hold hands as they ate.

“What’s this great idea then?” Wanda said, a forkful of chicken entering her mouth.

“Why don’t we go away together? Just us, somewhere sunny like the Caribbean.”

Suddenly Pietro’s voice came into her mind.

_Don’t you think you’re moving just a little fast with her?_

_Are you not worried you’re repeating patterns?_

The weekend they got engaged, her and Vis had gone on a trip to NYC, only four months after they started dating. Maybe Pietro was right?

“Are you sure it isn’t too soon? To go away together?” Wanda replied, keeping her eye on her plate.

“Maybe…but we love each other, I want to spend every minute with you darling, so let’s do it.”

Wanda’s eyes flickered up to see a smiling Natasha watching her response, holding her hand tightly before noticing Wanda’s own expression.

“What is it.”

“I have a history of moving too quickly with people.” She muttered, standing up to put her empty plate in the dishwasher, moving her hand out of Nat’s reach.

“Wanda, this isn’t like with Vis. _I’m_ not Vis, you can trust me.” Natasha said, standing up to follow her to the sink where she was washing her hands.

“Vis used to say that a lot. ‘you can trust me Wanda’. It’s all bullshit.”

“Wanda what has gotten into you? We were all happy at the start of dinner!” Nat stood with her arms crossed, leaning against the worktop.

“It’s just…something Pietro said. In the voicemail he left me.” Her voicer went quiet, desperate for Nat to drop the subject already.

“And what did he say may I ask?” The grin had returned.

“That maybe…maybe we’re moving a bit fast.”

Nat’s smile dropped and she held her arms even tighter to her chest.

“Was it really any of his business? I mean, he never even met me, he never saw us.”

“He knew me Nat! he knew when I’m doing something I should be doing!” Wanda snapped, throwing down the kitchen towel and looking Natasha directly in the eyes.

“He hadn’t spoken to you in seven years! He never knew the person you’ve become! Fuck, he didn’t even know that Vis was who he was!” Nat raised her arms in frustration.

“He was my brother Natasha, I have to trust his advice!”

“You’re going to take the advice of a dead man over your own girlfriend!”

Silence. The air was thick with Natasha’s regret, it felt like someone had punched Wanda in the stomach as suddenly she struggled for breath. Holding her composure, she watched Nat’s face twist into one of apology.

“Get. Out.” She kept her voice level, gripping onto the kitchen countertop with all her hands could muster.

“Wanda I…”

“Get out Nat. Get out.” She could feel the anger rising even more in her chest, almost as if she was about to explode.

“I didn’t mean to-“

“To what? Talk shit about my dead brother?” Her voice wavered a little and the tears became to form before she shook her head.

“Please just leave. We’ll sort this out in the morning, I just…I can’t look at you right now.”

She wasn’t wrong. Once she had torn her eyes away from Nat, she couldn’t make them go back, not even to watch her leave with her bag through the front door.

 


	24. look after you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> are you ready for *whip* some angst

_Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go,_

_You have made my life complete and I love you so._

-

Wanda didn’t sleep that night, instead she sat out on the fire escape for hours until her fingertips were numb with cold, cigarette after cigarette and drinking glass after glass of wine. She had actually gone out there to write in her journal, sort out her thoughts, but she had left in inside and just couldn’t muster up the strength to go and get it, so she sat with the carton of cigs and the bottle of wine she had stashed away in a plant pot, watching the sleeping city as she thought.

The thing was, Wanda expected that even after she left him that Vis would still have some kind of hold over her life, but she always assumed it would be through stalking her or pressuring her back into a relationship with him. What she didn’t expect was that Vis wouldn’t attempt to make any contact with her after they signed the divorce papers, that instead it was the memory of him that haunted and controlled her. Wanda had lashed out at Nat because she was _scared_ , because she was so terrified that she was making the same mistakes again and she would end up back where she had been for almost a decade.

She loved Natasha Romanoff, she loved her so much it hurt. But Wanda Maximoff would be lying if she said she loved herself enough to let herself have Nat.

She missed the old her, the Wanda full of life and vitality who would spontaneously skinny dip on a walk with Bucky during hot summer days, the Wanda who cycled through dead and empty streets in the middle of the night with Peter just to experience life after everyone had fallen asleep, the Wanda who would fly to Paris on a whim with Tony just because he felt like croissants for breakfast. Fun Wanda, alive and headstrong Wanda who would never have let someone hurt her, especially not her own husband. Sometimes she wondered if, at some point, that Wanda had been swapped in the night for the girl she was now, simply because it seemed impossible that she was the same carefree girl.

“Everyone has to grow up.” She muttered to herself, putting about a cigarette in the ashtray with the others before lighting another.

It was true, she had grown up. Wanda now had adult things like divorce hearings and medical bills to deal with. She couldn’t afford to go to Paris with Tony anymore – even if he did offer to pay for every little thing she just felt guilty, and she was too self-conscious to go swimming with Bucky in the river anymore after all the times Vis had told her she had to lose weight.

The little things were manageable though, going shopping for groceries with Natasha, going to art classes with Peter, walks around the park with Steve and Bucky. Even the nights she went to Tony’s just to unwind and fall asleep on the couch in his lab with him made her feel just a bit more loved than she had the day before.

Still there was that little voice in the back of her head that told her that she wasn’t good enough, that it was all going to turn out like last time, that she’d fail at this relationship too. In her heart, she knew Natasha would never hurt her…she didn’t think so anyway, and she knew that going on holiday together or moving in together didn’t mean they were moving too fast, it just meant that they were in love.

“Natasha isn’t Vis. She isn’t.” She reassured herself for the hundredth time as took another exhale of smoke, the sun rising in front of her.

Drunk, exhausted and full of regret, she finally stood up, her back aching from sitting on the cold metal all night, and climbed back in through the window, the warm air hitting her cheeks and making them even rosier than usual.

“I need her, I need to go…go get her.” She slurred, to nobody in particular.

Dumping the empty bottle in the recycling bin, she stumbled towards the front door. Realistically she was never going to make it down the apartment buildings stairwell, but nevertheless she pulled on her trainers (lacing them wrong) and began to attempt to put her key in the lock.

Surprisingly, the door opened without her even turning the key in the lock and Wanda looked up to see the tear-streaked face of Natasha looking at her. The sight sobered her, the only time Wanda had ever seen her girlfriend cry was the night that she had told her about her ex, even then she didn’t have a million mascara lines streaking her cheeks.

“I killed him.” She mumbled before attempting to take a step forward but instead falling into Wanda’s arms, forcing the brunette to wrap her arms around the redhead, propping her up against her own body.

“What? Killed who?” She asked, she could smell the alcohol coming off Natasha like a disgusting perfume.

“That…That abusive piece of shit.”

_Vis?_

Moving her so that Nat was leaning against the wall, Wanda clasped her face in her hands, trying her hardest to get the other woman to look her in the eye, to give her some kind of indication of what she was talking about. Searching for a sign that she hadn’t killed her ex-husband.

“Natasha, who did you kill? Did you kill Vis?” She tried her hardest to keep her composure, to keep her voice level and her heart steady, but honestly, she just wanted to scream.

The drunk woman didn’t reply.

“Natasha!” Wanda snapped, sweat beginning to form on her forehead, a mixture of stress and the effort it took to keep Nat standing.

“I didn’t mean to do it! But he…he was so mean.” She cried, her voice tailing off into nothingness at the end as, without warning, she collapsed completely as she fell asleep in Wanda’s arms in the hallway.

-

After struggling to drag Nat up the staircase into the bedroom and into their bed where she could sleep her drunkenness off, Wanda ran through to the kitchen where her phone was sitting on the kitchen counter, pulling up Vis’ contact info with shaky fingers and pressing call. It rang. It rang. No answer.

_Please no, not him too, I can’t lose anyone else._

She called again. No answer.

Finally, on the third call someone picked up and the moment it stopped ringing she called out:

“Vis? Vis are you okay? Are you there?”

There was a pause and a sigh before an answer.

“Yes…Wanda I’m fine.” Replied a groggy sounding Vis on the other end of the phone.

“Oh, thank god!” She exhaled and suddenly all the adrenaline from the past half hour was gone and her knees went weak, forcing her to slide to the cold tiles of the kitchen floor.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. Nothing honestly, I’m fine. Go back to sleep.” She said, hanging up before he spoke again

Vis was alive. He was okay. Natasha hadn’t “killed” him.

Then why did what she say seem so…honest?

-

_Love me tender, love me sweet, all my dreams fulfilled,_

_For my darling, I love you and I always will._


	25. take me to church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoop there it is

Wanda eventually fell asleep on the couch after pacing for hours until the sun was well in the sky and normal people had gone to work before she finally gave in and collapsed onto the soft cushion and let herself succumb to the seductive sleep.

It was the sound of cars that woke her up, her head felt as though it was going to split in half and her throat was raw because of the amount she had smoked but she was awake nonetheless. Checking her phone, she saw it was three in the afternoon, and she looked up above the kitchen to where their bed sat on the landing, she couldn’t see the bed from downstairs so she couldn’t tell is Natasha was still sleeping or not, she assumed she was though judging by the state she was in this morning.

She had told Wanda she had _killed_ someone.

Wanda wanted to shrug it off, wanted to act as though it was just something people said when they were drunk, but there was something in the back of her head telling her otherwise as she tiptoed up the spiral stairs to check on the redhead.

There wasn’t a door to knock as the stairs ended almost directly across from the bed itself. Wanda was surprised to see Natasha sitting up in bed, her knees tucked in under her chin as she held them close in her arms, her face hidden in shadow because the sun hadn’t reached her yet, it was rather ominous to see her sitting there in the dark.

“I’m sorry.” She heard Natasha say as she sat on the bed across from her.

“You don’t have to be sorry, I shouldn’t have overreacted.” She reassured her, moving a hand to touch the other woman’s arm only for Nat to flinch away, never moving her eyes from Wanda’s face.

“I’m not talking about that.” She mumbled, Wanda could see that she had gotten up while she was sleeping to wash her face because the mascara lines were gone.

“Nat…that was just drunken rambling, I didn’t even think you’d remember saying it-“

“It’s true. I killed him.” Wanda was sure that she wasn’t blinking while she spoke.

“I called Vis this morning, he’s fine.”

“Not Vis.”

 _She’s being serious,_ Wanda thought to herself as all of a sudden, she appeared to have stopped breathing. Desperate not to let her facial expression change in case it scared Nat off, she kept her eyes fixed on the redhead’s face.

“Bruce. I killed him. Hit him with my car.”

Wanda didn’t know quite what to say, her heart had stopped beating and her brain had apparently forgotten to function. So instead she didn’t say anything, she just kicked off her slippers and crawled into bed next to Natasha, making sure to move as slowly as she could – as if she was trying to gain the trust of a damaged animal to try and get it to a vet. Barely moving, she brushed a stand of hair out of the redhead’s face, softly kissing her forehead before wrapping her arms around her and pulling her into a non-reciprocated embrace. The other woman’s body shaking under her touch as Wanda gently stroked that once vibrant red hair which seemed so dead and lifeless today, whispering ‘I love you’s and ‘I forgive you’s. She was sure Natasha Romanoff had fallen asleep against her until she heard a quiet whisper:

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.”

“He just came out of nowhere, I didn’t even see him.” Nat was sobbing now, trying and failing to take a breath between every word.

“I still love you.” Wanda said as she kissed the top of the girl’s head, gently rocking her back and forth like her mother used to when she got upset.

“I’m a murderer.”

“You are no such thing.”

Technically, yes. Natasha was a killer and a murderer, but to Wanda none of that mattered. She had her, Nat had her heart and her soul and everything in between.

“We’d had a fight. I ran out. He came after me drunk and I hit him as I reversed out of the carpark.” Her voice was strangely lacking emotion now, even if the tears were still streaming down her face.

“He would’ve lived if he hadn’t hit his head on the sidewalk.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself. It was an accident.”

“I’m not sure if it was. I think I saw him in my rear-view mirror before I hit him. I had a chance to stop the car but I didn’t. I wanted him dead for what he did to me.”

“I know.”

-

*ONE YEAR LATER*

-

The shill sound of beeping woke her. Without opening her eyes, she moved her hand around the bedside table until she found her phone to turn off the alarm. Still with her eyes closed, she turned until she felt the warm body next to her and she instinctively wrapped her arms around her as the other woman shifted slightly and groaned.

“Don’t get too comfy darling, you have to go to work.”

Wanda groaned, turning away from the warmth of her girlfriend and sitting up as she rubbed her eyes. Nat was right, she did have work today, those kids weren’t going to teach themselves how to paint.

Coming out of the shower, she saw that the bed was already made – a strange sight for a weekday morning because neither woman ever made the bed before rushing off to work. She smiled, Natasha must be buttering her up for something.

She picked out the yellow sundress because the weather man had told her it was going to be hot that Friday and she paired it with the dirty pair of trainers she knew to wear when it was a painting lesson day (she could wear an apron to protect her dress but her shoes always managed to be covered in all different shades before breaktime).

“I made you breakfast.” Natasha said when Wanda came downstairs, placing a plate with a pancake drenched in maple syrup on the dining table, a bowl of chopped up fruit next to it.

“What do you want?” Wanda giggled, sitting in the chair that Natasha tucked in after her.

“Nothing, just showing my girlfriend a little love. You deserve to be spoiled every once in a while.” Nat kissed the top of her head, Wanda surprised she was even awake this early as her shift at the coffee shop didn’t even start till one.

“I’m suspicious.”

“Just shut up and eat.” Natasha threw her a look, winking as Wanda took her first bite out of a strawberry.

-

Work was uneventful. Charlie had a nosebleed all over her fish painting and Jamie punched Robbie for taking his snack but overall, Wanda had had far more trying days in the nursery. She thanked god every day that she had finally found a job that she loved and that she was good at, and Wanda loved the children, she treated them as if they were her own.

The fact that she would probably never have her own children to raise hurt Wanda’s heart every single day, especially when Jacob would give her a flower he picked or when Kathy made her a card to say ‘hello’. What Wanda realised though, was that as much as she wanted her own kids, she wanted Natasha more. She was so devastated when Vis told her he didn’t want to have a baby because she wasn’t happy with him and she thought a child would fix them – that maybe he would stop hitting her if they only have someone they loved together. Now though, Wanda was sure Natasha wasn’t the ‘kid type’ and she could live with that as long as she had Nat beside her.

It still hurt though, the thought that she’d never be a mom.

Walking through the front door that evening, she was sure she would come back to an empty apartment just as she did every day because Nat worked until seven, it certainly was a surprise to see candles lighting up the living space as Natasha stood facing the door waiting for her.

“Don’t turn the light on! It’ll ruin the ambience!” Nat whispered hurriedly as Wanda’s hand reached for the light switch.

“Nat I can’t see. I’m turning the light on unless you give me a reason not to.” She smiled, knowing fine well she was joking, she could see the fresh roses in the flower vase – she knew this was planned.

“Don’t you dare.” Nat replied as she walked forward, taking Wanda’s hand and pulling her into the centre of the room as Wanda noticed the soft sound of “Unchained Melody” playing in the background.

“Is that-“

“Out song, yes. I’m going as cheesy as possible on this because I only get to do it once.” Wanda noticed the teasing tone in her girlfriend’s voice and the slight smirk on her lips.

“Do what?”

Without warning, Wanda watched as Natasha dropped to one knee in front of her, pulling a tiny black velvet box from her back pocket as she grinned up at her. Wanda didn’t react, she was pretty sure her entire body had actually stopped functioning, but she did let out a gasp when Na opened to box to show a silver band with a white diamond in the middle of it.

“It’s not a promise ring this time.” Nat let out a nervous laugh, Wanda noticing the glint of tears in her eyes – only making her own eyes become wet.

Wanda didn’t say a thing, she just stood there in shock as her vocal chords seemed to have stopped working. After a few moments her body started to reboot and she let out a very undignified:

“Are you fucking serious?” while she laughed a shallow laugh.

“Wanda, I love you. I don’t know what else I can say, except that I love you and I want to be with you…and only you. Forever.”

“I want to be with you forever too.” Wanda finally croaked out, her throat suddenly closing up.

“Okay so, can I ask now?” Nat looked up at a nodding Wanda.

“Wanda Natalya Maximoff will you marry me?”

“Yes.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the weird time jump, i just really didn't know how to end THAT so you go some cute lesbians instead :)


	26. stand by me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter cause i am TIRED

She didn’t go to Bucky’s house first, or peters, Wanda went straight to Tony’s penthouse just an hour after she became a bride to be. Natasha jumping in the car next to her and driving both of them, holding her hand the whole journey. Nat chose to stay in the car, knowing this was something Wanda had to tell Tony personally – she would get to tell Bucky and Steve with her anyway.

As Wanda stood in the elevator, waiting impatiently for it to reach the top floor, it almost felt as though she was lighter than air. She had never felt like this when she had gotten engaged to Vis, it was beautiful and exciting and a lot of things, but she never felt this full of _joy._ She knocked three times when she reached Tony’s door, she strangely wasn’t nervous, her heart was beating perfectly normally (that’s when she knew for certain that she was doing the right thing).

“Wanda? What’s wrong.” Tony answered the door holding a cup of noodles with a fork sticking out of it – you’d think with all his money he’d buy more food but no.

“I have news.” She said, struggling to keep a straight face as she bounced on the balls of her feet.

Tony moved to let her in and the moment she crossed through the doorframe her chest started to fill with the feeling of anticipation and eagerness. To her, telling Tony she was getting married was the equivalent of telling her father if he was still alive. Yes, Tony was only a few years older than her, but the way he had always cared and looked out for her was the way a father would’ve.

“Okay, so what is-“

“I’m getting married.” Wanda blurted out, unable to keep it to herself for a second longer.

Just seconds after the words left her lips, Wanda found herself being lifted into the air as the man holding her span them both in a circle as he laughed. Once she realised what was happening, she instantly threw her arms around his neck in return, giggling for the few moments before he stopped spinning and put her feet firmly back on the ground – still holding onto her as tightly as she thought a human possibly could.

“You deserve this.” He said as he pulled away, only to pull her into another embrace only moments after.

“Tony! I need to look at you for a sec, let go!” She laughed, pulling away and looking up. Natasha may have saved her from Vis, but Tony saved her life.

“What is it?” He asked, a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Will you give me away?” Her voice broke a little as she spoke, watching Starks face for any sign of a reaction.

“What about Bucky? He gave you away last time?” His voice was questioning but his brown eyes were darting over Wanda’s face with excitement.

“You and I weren’t that close back then…I owe you my life Tony.” She spoke softly now, the eagerness fading from her voice as.

“Stop. You’re gonna make me cry.” He said, pulling her into another hug.

“Is that a yes?”

“That’s a yes.”

-

Neither woman had any family to tell, so naturally they went straight to Nat’s old apartment where they new for a fact Steve and Bucky would be. Wanda wasn’t as close with Peter, she told Natasha in the car on the way over, she could tell him at art class on Wednesday.

Steve hugged them both, saying his congratulations to Wanda before beginning a quiet conversation with Natasha that Wanda thought she shouldn’t interfere with. Bucky on the other hand, he didn’t say much right after the two women had walked in with their rings in the air, instead he asked Wanda if they could go out onto the balcony to talk. Not speaking even while he lit her cigarette, staying silent until Wanda decided to speak up.

“Well…Say something?”

“What do you want me to say? That I’m happy for you? Cause I am Wanda I promise I’ve never been more…I just…” He said before taking a draw of his own cigarette, unable to find the words he needed.

“Say it. You think I’m making a mistake.” She said, flicking her ash over the railing onto the streets below, the friends unable to make eye contact as they both looked out over the city.

“I’m just saying that you just got out of a marriage, do you really think it’s the best idea to jump into another one?”

“I got divorced from Vis a year ago Bucky. I started dating Natasha months before that and you know fine well my marriage ended within the first year of it starting so don’t even bring that up as an excuse!” She snapped, angrily turning to look at him as Bucky hung his head and shaking it.

“I just don’t want you to have to go through that again…I just want you to be happy.”

“You know she saved me? At the end of me and Vis I went…really fucking dark and ‘Tasha, I mean…she pulled me back into the light. Id be dead right now if she hadn’t found me.” She exhaled, the brown-haired man looking at her finally.

“You think she’s the one? You’re sure.”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

She was sure. Wanda Maximoff was sure that she loved Natasha Romanoff with all of her heart and soul. She loved everything Nat did, everything Nat said and every time Nat kissed her Wanda still got the same butterflies she had when they first kissed that day in the middle of the street, back when she was still married and things were so complicated. Wanda wanted to be with Natasha forever, until they were grey and old and dying and they spent their days playing bingo and doing the daily crossword while they watched terrible daytime TV. She knew she would love every argument and every kiss, every tear and every laugh until the day they died. Wanda knew that they would die together because she knew that she couldn’t survive a single moment without Natasha in the world.

_She was sure._

“Then come here, because I want to hug my best friend.” He said, stretching out his arms after he dropped his cigarette on the floor and stomped on it with his foot. Wanda doing the same before wrapping her arms around his waist and being pulled into the kind of embrace a brother would give, the kind of hug Pietro used to give.

“I’m sorry your brother isn’t here.” Bucky said quietly, almost as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.

“Me too.”


	27. grow old with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ya'll deserved this

They didn’t have an engagement party or anything of the sort. Wanda had already had the ‘big white wedding’ so she didn’t want to go through the stress of another so they decided on a date to go to a church and simply get _married_. None of the bullshit and hassle of a normal wedding, they only wanted it to be them and their friends. Bucky and Steve were chosen as the best men, and of course Tony was given the honour of giving Wanda away, Peter was just to be there as a friend – he didn’t have a role.

3rd of May. That’s the date they chose. It was a Saturday.

The night before the wedding, Steve had dragged Nat back to her old apartment after both women had decided they should spend their last night before the big day apart. Bucky stayed with Wanda at her own apartment, he jokingly said it was to make sure she didn’t run but she knew that it was actually to stop her sneaking out to see Natasha in the middle of the night.

“Do you think I’m making the right decision? Marrying her?” Wanda asked late that night to a half-asleep Bucky in the bed next to her as she stared up at the celling, her eyes stuck open from anxiety.

“I think that if you didn’t want to marry her you should’ve said something earlier…now let me sleep.” He mumbled, turning away so that his back was facing her.

“I just don’t want things to go wrong. I really want things to be perfect.”

He didn’t respond, Wanda knew he was still awake though, she could tell because of the way he was breathing.

“What if I get there and she decides she doesn’t want me anymore…” She said in a quiet voice, so tired that her eyes ached when they welled up with tears.

Bucky turned back to face her, propping himself up on his elbow before sighing, lazily wiping her cheek and saying:

“I wouldn’t have agreed to be your best man if I didn’t believe that she loves you as much as you love her.”

Wanda didn’t reply, she just gently nodded her head in reply before the image she had been clinging onto for the past months since Nat proposed came into her mind. Her and Pietro dancing like she wanted them to at her first wedding, laughing as he began to di the stupid dance they made up as children before telling her he’s proud of her.

“I miss P.”

“I’m sure he misses you too.”

-

Due to the fact that they weren’t having a huge ceremony, they had bought their own outfits in secret – promising not to spoil the surprise for the other person. Wanda had chosen out a white dress the stopped just above her knees, it had flowers on the peter-pan collar and it was simple, it was beautiful and the moment Wanda saw it was the first time, she knew it was perfect. Unbeknownst to her future wife, Natasha had picked out a plain white suit, she never wore dresses and skirts anyway – she wasn’t going to start now. It had a single black button in the middle so she could close the jacket if she wanted to but that was it, she had to say it was a very sexy suit, the white material made the redness of her hair even more apparent and she knew Wanda would love tearing it off of her later that night as she pulled on a pair of black heels the morning of her wedding. This was it, the day she finally married Wanda Maximoff.

Wanda had the same thought herself as she pulled on her own white heels, today was the day she was marrying Natasha Romanoff. She had decided to wear her hair down, slightly curled so that the brown locks had a bit of bounce when she walked, she knew Natasha liked it better down anyway.

-

“You ready?” Tony said as he stood next to her outside the church that morning. Wanda still hadn’t seen Natasha, but she knew she was waiting for her just a few feet away in the next room.

“More than ever.” Wanda replied.

“Is everyone here?” She asked, picking nervously at the ribbon of her bouquet, counting the petals on the pink tulips to try and steady her breath.

“Yep. Pete and Bucky are waiting in there with Steve and Nat, don’t worry, everyone’s here.” He said, holding his arm out, she linked her own with his almost instantly.

_Almost everyone._

She was looking the other way when Wanda saw her for the first time that day, her hair was the first thing she fixed her eyes one before the woman turned and noticed the brunette in the doorway, a smile instantly coming over her face. The moment Wanda saw Natasha smile at the end of the aisle, all of her nerves and anxieties seemed to have melted away – this was it, it had all been leading to this moment.

Tony passed her hand to Natasha’s before going to sit on the pew next to Steve on Nat’s side. Thank god a priest was available that had no problem marrying them that day, Wanda had refused to get married in any kind of ceremony that wasn’t catholic – not that Nat was too bothered about it.

“Hi.” Natasha said, giving her hand a squeeze.

“That suits really sexy.” Wanda muttered under her breath, making Nat laugh to herself.

When it came to the vows, both of them had wrote their own.

“I can’t promise you much. I can’t promise you that we won’t fight or that there won’t be times when you’ll hate me or that I hate you. I can’t promise that the moment we kiss today all of our problems will disappear, because we both have traumas and they won’t just go away because we say some stuff and put flashy new rings on our fingers.” Nat said as she held tightly onto Wanda’s hands.

“I can’t promise any of that, but I can promise that I love you, I can promise that I won’t stop loving you and that I will always be there for you. And that’s all I have to say apart from…I’m really sorry that was so soppy and I really hope you feel the same.” Wanda noticed Nat’s eyes become wet as she spoke and her breath started to hitch towards the end of her speech.

Wanda smiled, tears in her own eyes as she cleared her throat and started to talk.

“I’ve already been married, it’s not a secret, but I can swear to you that I have never felt the way about anyone the way I feel about you. And I know you’re going to tease me later about being too emotional or making you cry in front of all your friends, and I’m sorry, god stop laughing-“She giggled at the redheads smiling face.

“I’m sorry, I love you.”

“All I’m saying is that…you really saved my life and I will tell you I’m grateful for you every single day. I love you.”

The rest of the ceremony was a blur to Wanda, she could hear the words coming out of the priests mouth, she felt herself say ‘I do’ but it wasn’t until the man next to her said ‘you may kiss the bride’ that she finally felt reality hit her body and she eagerly held Natasha’s face in her hands and kissed her – their lips finally touching for the first time as wife and wife.


	28. baby I'm yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ugh all these recent chapter have been so soft i love it

Wanda had never been to the beach before. Growing up she had lived too far away from the ocean and it wasn’t as if Vis let her go on days out with her friends to beach parties. She had never seen the sea or built a sandcastle, she had never been left with shoes that always had sand in them from that day on or desperately tried to eat an ice-cream before the hot sun melted it.

So, when she first felt the sand between her toes on her honeymoon, she almost felt like crying with joy as she heard the waves and thought of how Pietro had always promised her they’d go on the nights she felt her worst.

Tony had paid for them to go to Italy, so naturally Natasha had him book a hotel near the sea after she found out Wanda had never been. They went straight to the airport after they had gotten married, only having time to have a quick glass of champagne with their friends back in their apartment and change their clothes before Tony put them in a car and sent them off.

Wanda had never been anywhere so warm, she was used to a little bit of heat during the scalding summer days back at home, but it was a different kind of warm over there. She had learned that she burnt her nose easily if she didn’t put enough sun cream on in the morning, she had watched as after one day in the sun Natasha’s freckles came out in abundance.

They drank a coffee every morning on their balcony, drank wine every night at fancy restaurants along with plates full of ravioli and pizza and cheeses with breads. They went to the beach and read to each other on the golden sands, they even snuck out of their hotel one night to dance on the same beach as the night air blew their hair out of their faces. They even travelled into Rome and went sightseeing, Natasha snapping pictures of Wanda in front of the colosseum as she laughed because of a dumb joke the redhead had told her right before taking the photo. Visiting art galleries and dancing in the street to people playing for money, holding hands all the way as they saw their diamonds flash in the Italian sunlight. Sleeping with the window open and waking up to natural light and the sound of birds chirping as they lay in each other’s arms.

It truly was one of the happiest weeks of her life.

On their last night, they didn’t do anything spectacular, they just ordered a pizza to the hotel room and ate it on their bed in their underwear. Wanda’s short bob still damp from the shower she had taken after their last trip down to the beach that afternoon as they lounged in peaceful quiet.

“Are you ready to go back to work?” Nat asked, leaning on her elbow, looking up at her as she bit into a slice.

“Surprisingly, yes. You know how much I love kids.” Wanda smiled, holding her hand over her mouth as she chewed, laughing slightly to herself because she knew she looked her worst right now, but she knew Natasha didn’t care.

“I do. I do know how much you love kids.”

“If Vis hadn’t been so much of a dick, I would’ve had so many kids ‘Tasha honestly, just an army of little ones who I could look after.” Her eyes were sad as she spoke, the image of her and Vis’ imaginary sandy-haired son running in the grass filling her mind.

“You’ve never asked me.” Nat said after a pause.

“Asked you what?”

“If I wanted a kid. You’ve never asked me once.”

“I just assumed…” Wanda replied, putting down her slice and looking into Natasha’s eyes, searching for any clue to what she was thinking.

“What? That I didn’t want children with you?” Nat let out a laugh, sitting up to face Wanda.

“You just don’t seem like a baby person.” Wanda leant forward a little, her heart beating faster than usual.

“Not usually no, but it would be different if it was _our_ baby now wouldn’t it?” The redhead flashed a grin at the brunette.

“Wait are you saying…”

“Let’s have a baby.”

“Are you serious! You’re not joking? Oh my god!” Wanda flung herself into Nat’s arms, unable to stop herself from laughing with happiness as her wife chuckled underneath her.

-

The two decided to adopt, it was too expensive to artificially inseminate and to get a surrogate they’d have to pick a donor and find someone willing to carry a baby for nine months. The moment they got back from the airport, both of them were calling adoption agencies and setting up interviews and background checks, searching online for cribs and clearing out the spare room to try and turn it into a nursery.

Only six months after they first applied to be adoptive parents, they got a call in the middle of the night saying that a new-born had been abandoned at the hospital and they had been chosen as its new parents. Rushing to the hospital as if Wanda was in labour herself, they practically ran through the corridors until they saw the cot their future son was lying in.

“They didn’t give him a name. You’ll have to think of one so we can do the birth certificate.” The nurse said as she handed him over to Wanda, leaving them alone in the room.

“We never thought of a name.” Nat said softly as she stroked his cheek with her finger.

Wanda looked down at the baby’s face, he was barely awake but she could just about see his beautiful brown eyes through his drooping lids. They reminded her of Tony’s eyes and the way they could make anyone fall in love with him just by looking at them, the baby also had a small tuft of jet black hair on the top of his head, but it was the eyes that gave her the idea.

“How about Anthony?”

“I love it.” Natasha looked up from Anthony’s face to Wanda’s before she said:

“Anthony Pietro.”

Wanda’s head whipped up to look at Nat, her eyes already damp with tears as she looked into her wife’s eyes before smiling the widest smile she had ever smiled before.

“Don’t you think that Anthony Pietro Maximoff-Romanoff is a bit of a mouthful?” She laughed quality as the not wake the now sleeping baby in her arms.

“I think it’s perfect.” Nat replied, kissing Wanda’s cheek before leaving her alone with Anthony to go and tell the nurse they had picked a name.

“I love you.” Wanda said quietly to the baby, kissing his forehead.

“And I promise that we will try our hardest to be the best mommy’s ever, and we will tell you that we love you every single day. I can’t say that life isn’t hard because life is…life is shit and I can’t tell you that we’ll be the best parents ever but…” She took one of her hands and lightly stroked the tiny patch of hair.

“I promise that you will be loved.”


	29. my love, my life (epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last chapter! oh my god!

Anthony was just like the man he was named after, mischievous and curious. Natasha and Wanda had to keep an eye on him at all times just in case he wanted to find out what crayons tasted like or what would happen if he put his finger in a plug socket. As he grew up, he developed a love for history – specifically dinosaurs – he loved dinosaurs so much that Wanda had painted the bottom of one of his bedroom walls so that tiny stegosauruses walked along grass.

He gave the phrase ‘terrible twos’ a whole new meaning though, Nat and Wanda would often take shifts in the night while he screamed and cried and threw his things around the room, he would bite other kids on play dates and throw his food at dinner. As he grew older he calmed down of course, he still pushed girls at preschool and threw dirt at other boys, but incidents became far less frequent after a while. He wasn’t the smartest in his class, straight C’s for most of elementary school, but his mothers didn’t care, they helped him with his spelling and spent summers worth of their time teaching him his times tables. Once he hit middle school his grades went up a little (all B’s with Nat’s help) and he made more friends and once he reached high school…well he had become one of the smartest kids in his year.

Sports didn’t interest him, but Wanda and Nat went to every single play he did with his drama group – even the ones where he was only an extra – and were always the first to applaud at the end. As he became a teenager, he fought with Nat a lot, probably because he was more like her than Wanda, but at the end of the day one of them would apologize and they made it a family rule that they would always eat dinner together if they were all at home – and all fights had to be solved by then. This made Wanda the ‘good cop’ because she would always gently knock on his door after Natasha and his screaming match and tell him how much she loved him. She did the same to her wife, they listened to each other’s frustrations and held each other when they cried, all their fights being over petty things that were easily resolved with a kiss or a gift of flowers.

Their son never once questioned why he didn’t have a father, when they asked if it bothered him, he always said “I don’t need a dad when I have two amazing moms’” and it never failed to melt their hearts. He had Tony as a father figure anyway, spending whole weekends locked away in his ‘uncle’s’ lab and then coming home on the Sunday telling his mothers about what he invented. Inventing was always more of a hobby for him however and his passion for dinosaurs stuck with him through the years and when he received his PHD for geoscience, his mothers stood and gave him a standing ovation as he was given his diploma.

Wanda didn’t break her promise to him, he was loved.

Wanda herself stayed at her job at the preschool, Nat became the manager of the coffee shop and together they made enough to live off of – were they rich? Far from it, but were they happy? Always.

Bucky and Steve moved to Brooklyn a few years after Tony was adopted, Steve set up his one personal training centre and Bucky decided to become a tattoo artist on a whim. Wanda missed them dearly, especially Bucky, but she saw them every few months and Bucky called her all the time to ask her stupid things and then hang up after she said “I don’t know what the capital of Lebanon is”. Peter moved in with his girlfriend Michelle, having a little girl only a year younger than Anthony, the two had even dated for a year or two at the beginning of high school before she had discovered that she was a lesbian, there was no hard feelings though – the pair were still best friends. Tony met Stephen Strange after he had represented him in his divorce, they never got married or anything, they were happy just as they were. Almost 10 years to the day of their divorce, Wanda got a call to say that Vis was dead, random mugging on his way home from work, apparently, he had never met anyone else to make his emergency contact in the full decade since they’d seen each other. She mourned for him of course, but out of all her feelings, her main feeling was relief, Anthony didn’t know who Vis was and he never would so he never understood why his mom burst into tears for no reason after she got the phone call, only to cry out ‘I’m free’ as she laughed.

Natasha was with her through it all, even convincing her to stop smoking once they adopted Anthony. Just like she promised in her vows, Nat never stopped loving Wanda and she never stopped being there for her in her toughest nights, and just like in Wanda’s vows, she told her wife she was grateful for her every day until the end.

Cancer spreads quickly. One moment Nat was complaining about feeling tired and showing Wanda a lump that she had found and the next she was lying in bed, drips and tubes coming out of her at all angles.

The doctors said that when they found the lump, the breast cancer was already stage three and couldn’t be treated. So, for the last few months of her life, Wanda took care of Nat as best she could, taking her into every hospital appointment and every round of chemotherapy. Her wife was adamant she wouldn’t become a vegetable, staying in hospital as she withered into nothingness, so she stayed at home. Anthony had come back from his new job at the Natural History Museum in New York to help Wanda take care of her, but Wanda had refused to let him – Natasha was her wife, she had to honour her vows.

_Till death do us part._

“I miss your hair. It was the first thing I fell in love with when I met you.” Wanda said, stroking her wife’s fail hand as she sat by the bed which they had moved so it looked out the window in the living room, so that Nat could see the sunset.

“I miss it too…now look at me I…I look like a boiled egg.” She wheezed, she found it hard to breathe these days.

“We should’ve done so much more, went more places. We could’ve taken Anthony to Rome, he would’ve loved it there I think…a lot of history.” Wanda said, she was watching Natasha’s face, trying to memorise every detail before it was too late.

“Rome…was our place…ours alone.” Natasha wasn’t looking back at Wanda, scared to look at her in case it was the last time, so she focused on the amber sky because the colours reminded her of the fierce red that her hair used to be.

“We could go back you know, if you just held on a little longer.” Wanda was desperate, she had lost too many people, she thought that she would at least always have Natasha.

“Wanda darling…I’m done here…you go to Rome.” Natasha whispered, her eyes fixed on the sunset as she felt her wife begin to cry beside her.

“Please…’Tasha…I can’t lose you too I just can’t.” She pleaded, resting her forehead on Natasha’s hand, only for Nat to feebly hold her by her chin and look at her with those once vibrant green eyes that had only dulled over time.

“Yes…you can…you are…the strongest…person I know…you can do…anything.” Her breathing was shallower now, both women knowing exactly what this meant.

“You promised! You promised you’d always be there! We were supposed to grow old together!” Wanda cried, holding tightly onto Natasha’s hand, praying for the first time in years.

“I…I love you…Wanda Maximoff…but I have to…go…now.” Natasha smiled one last time as she looked at her crying wife before her hand went limp in Wanda’s and the rattling in her chest finally ended.

“I love you, I love you, I love you…” Wanda repeated as she sat, clutching the lifeless hand, covering it in kisses as she felt the heat leave it.

The sun had set now. The world was dark.

-

Despite her earlier beliefs, Wanda did carry on in a world without Natasha Romanoff. Not in their apartment though, not in their city or their country. The day after her funeral she got on a plane to Italy and with their savings, she bought a small cottage just next to the hotel they stayed at during their honeymoon just a minute walk from the beach so that she could watch the waves every single morning when she woke up and every night before she went to sleep.

Wanda didn’t find love again, she barely spoke to anyone in the town and only saw Anthony once a month when he found time to fly over. She stayed there in isolation for 30 years after Nat's death and died herself when she was 77 years old, on her own, the way she wanted it if she couldn’t go with her wife.

As she lay in her bed that night, her bones old and frail, she knew that this was it, she wasn’t scared or upset, she didn’t think of Bucky or Tony or even Anthony. Instead she felt relief, she didn’t have to live in a world without Natasha anymore, her suffering was over and she greeted death like an old friend. Then again, death was an old friend:

“Hello darling, I missed you.” She said, her hair red as ever and her grin as wide as the day they had gotten married.

-

_Thought that I was growing, growing older_

_Wiser, understanding why_

_This world held nothing for my spirit_

_Thought that I was destined,_

_Destined to be nothing,_

_Destined to be nothing in this world_

_And then I met you._

_I met you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys...no joke i was in tears writing this final chapter. not just because of you know what but because i really fucking loved writing this fic and i really don't want it to end :(  
> thank you so much for your constant support, every single time i get a comment or kudos i am so unbelievably grateful and i promise I'll get back to writing heartbreak as soon as possible ;)  
> all my love,  
> B  
> xxxxx


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